If it weren’t for this happening often enough that I’ve run into it more times than I can count among not bright people,I would insist that this was fake fake.
But people are fucking stupid, and kids even moreso.
Older/bigger/stronger/smarter kid plays nice and let’s the kid with the disadvantage have a win. Someone fucks with them, even as a joke, and now they feel like shit, and go on to take that out on the kid they were trying to be nice to.
Shit rolls downhill.
In a situation like this, you still give the “winning” kid praise for effort (seriously, there’s studies on this shit, praise the effort, not the win or any supposed trait that gave them the win; they’ll value working for things more), then take the “losing” kid aside and give them props for putting in the effort to be considerate and uplifting of a sibling. If you don’t want to encourage “fake” wins, that’s cool, you impart that too, to not do it again for whatever reason, but you give them props for thinking with consideration of others.
Little shit like this matters to kids. Some of us forget those little events, but they still shape how we see the world. Those of us that remember the little things, good and/or bad, we just have the advantage of knowing what shaped us in part, it still already did the job.
I never went easy on my kids with video games. I did teach them how to properly trash-talk though, and how to recognize when trash-talk is and is not appropriate. I also remember when my kids finally beat me at Mario Kart after a really intense race; I nearly cried from how proud I was, because they were cheering each other on the whole time. It’s a cherished memory.
Remember, as long as everyone is having fun, it’s ok to tell them “git gud noob”. And git gud they sure did. I’m so proud of them.
If it weren’t for this happening often enough that I’ve run into it more times than I can count among not bright people,I would insist that this was fake fake.
But people are fucking stupid, and kids even moreso.
Older/bigger/stronger/smarter kid plays nice and let’s the kid with the disadvantage have a win. Someone fucks with them, even as a joke, and now they feel like shit, and go on to take that out on the kid they were trying to be nice to.
Shit rolls downhill.
In a situation like this, you still give the “winning” kid praise for effort (seriously, there’s studies on this shit, praise the effort, not the win or any supposed trait that gave them the win; they’ll value working for things more), then take the “losing” kid aside and give them props for putting in the effort to be considerate and uplifting of a sibling. If you don’t want to encourage “fake” wins, that’s cool, you impart that too, to not do it again for whatever reason, but you give them props for thinking with consideration of others.
Little shit like this matters to kids. Some of us forget those little events, but they still shape how we see the world. Those of us that remember the little things, good and/or bad, we just have the advantage of knowing what shaped us in part, it still already did the job.
I never went easy on my kids with video games. I did teach them how to properly trash-talk though, and how to recognize when trash-talk is and is not appropriate. I also remember when my kids finally beat me at Mario Kart after a really intense race; I nearly cried from how proud I was, because they were cheering each other on the whole time. It’s a cherished memory.
Remember, as long as everyone is having fun, it’s ok to tell them “git gud noob”. And git gud they sure did. I’m so proud of them.