The federal hydra sheds 75k heads, but the beast grows new ones faster than Musk’s DOGE can print memos. Efficiency theater at its finest—billionaires playing Jenga with lives while preaching fiscal responsibility from their diamond-encrusted pulpits.

They’ll burn $1 trillion on a spreadsheet fantasy, yet can’t fathom why overhead costs exist in a system built on Kafkaesque bureaucracy. The unions warned them—trusting a reality TV state to honor deals is like expecting integrity from a payday lender.

Meanwhile, the same zombie logic guts medical research and consumer protections. Priorities: yes to border spectacles, no to curing cancer. The real virus here is short-termism, metastasizing through every hollowed-out institution.

But hey, at least the propagandists will spin this as draining the swamp. Never mind that the alligators are now running the drainage company.