Thanks. I’m going to get out of bed and socialize poorly tonight because of this.
Maybe I’ll report back tomorrow how poorly it went.
I just got back! It went well. I felt awkward half the time, but I got to have some real conversations with some old and new friends.
I have some new friends that I’ve only interacted with in really busy contexts, and it was nice to chat with them in a calmer space. I woulda missed the chance if I didn’t give it a shot tonight.
Happy for you partner!
Good job!
My psychotherapist often say to me (paraphrased) : What is worth doing is worth being done badly.
A thing done imperfectly is better than doing nothing at all.
Actually great advice, I need to brush my teeth
Damn, brb, I’m gonna go put some stuff away even if I don’t know where to put everything
That was pretty good. I finally put away things that have been laying around for over a year.
For me it was hiding my emotions while dying of anxiety inside. I thought it was normal for people to have multiple streams of thought at once and to wake up with your mind immediately racing til bed. I did it though, college, kids, house, corporate IT career, until I couldn’t handle the grind of daily life and burned out hardcore, several times. Also drank excessively for 20 years.
Thankfully, you can get treated for depression and anxiety for decades, then spend thousands of dollars to get an official ADHD diagnosis, maybe. And the stimulants make my anxiety and depression so much better, and they are super easy to get. Also, no one will question if you really have ADHD, support all the way. Then, back to the grind which you’ll run right into with a smile everyday. I love it! It’s the best!
Thanks, I hate it
Just my experience. If your family or friends notice and help you, especially when younger, it can be a huge help. I’m just bitter cause I figured this out, and other big mental health issues, in my 40s. Some people get help right away, but sometimes you have to ask, and others, you have to beg and hope you make it.
Not to be bleak. I think realizing that you and only you are responsible for your physical and mental well being. Take care of those as best as you can and the way you want or need. It may hurt people but again, you are your #1 person in whatever reality you live in. You can feel better it just takes time and processing all emotions and looking out for you.✌️
Well I believe they tried to, in my case. Mental health was still a low priority and borderline taboo as a topic when my parents were growing up.
In fact, they faced similar issues and no one batted an eye, never saw it as something curable.
Well sir, I would kindly request you get out of my head.
Isn’t it strange that we have a government-ran education system that seems to identify those with significant potential for social change/upheaval and then manages to turn them into aimless mental health cases without the necessary learned skills such as how to study, how to overcome challenge, etc? Surely that couldn’t be by design to maintain the status quo and weed out or disenfranchise potential challengers to it before said challengers had a chance to inspire action, could it?
Honestly, I don’t think your thinking is correctly placed.
I do not think people with ADHD or other neurodivergencies are by design thought of, in first hand, as opposition Opposition that will be oppressors of the system. If anything, it’s a second hand thought. Of course the surpressed will attempt to revolt on a personal or collective plane sooner or later. But really, I don’t think people with ADHD are pre-identified as rebels by the system. I think it’s more historicallly sensible that people with ADHD are just trouble inside school. They ask too much and remembers too little. It doesn’t fit the practice of teaching. That’s it.
I recognize the community, but I’m referring specifically to “gifted and talented” programs as referenced in the meme, not just ADHD.
I also recognize they were not originally intended to be filters for society and likely had good intentions at inception, so I’m suggested they have been co-opted as a means of social correction by evil actors over time
I can see the appeal of thinking that your genius is being suppressed by an evil cabal who is afraid of your power, but it’s much more likely that the system is designed for neurotypicals because there’s more of them.
I feel like this person is doing the serious version of what I say when I claim there’s a conspiracy against us left-handed people, when in reality we’re like 10% of the population.
Still makes it no less annoying to only have a potato peeler with a blade on the side where you can’t use it.
They called us ‘gifted’ to justify our separation from others.
I’ll go for the “Don’t get diagnosed” and “Kill yourself in your 30s” strat.
Edit: For anybody actually trying to unassigned variable themselves, please be adviced. There are CEOs on your way out and be carefully NOT to take any of them with you. That would be AWFULL and HIGHLY illegal. We ABSOLUTELY DESPERATELY need those CEOs, so please be carefull with them.
Same, thou I’m not sure I can wait out the last couple years to 30. Might be fun to have my birthday be my deathday tho
You uh…ok? It does not sound fun to have your birthday be your death day :(.
Life is both pointless AND miserable and it would be fine if it were just one or the other but I’m just so fucking tired of putting effort into a life that I hate living
Please don’t hurt yourself. You are worthy of love.
Worthy? I can accept that. The problem is my presence in someone’s life would only make theirs worse. Well it would be a problem if I were capable of seeking out a relationship which I’m not. Not even comfortable with hookups anymore. Accepted that love, affection, and intimacy just aren’t for me.
Relationships aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine if its your choice and you are actually happy with it. Regardless, life is worth living. It may not seem like it now (I’ve been there) but I assure you there is a reason you’re here. Keep your head up.
If I start hoping, it’s just gonna make everything hurt more
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I admit I’m curious about what you said but not engaging is probably the right call
Honestly as an old person who struggles with ADHD I was trying to tell you it can get better… ignore the voice in your head telling you, “you can’t/suck/failure” it won’t help and it only drags you into a pit of self loathing reaffirmed by that goddamn voice.
You need to accept you work differently and focus on how to use that instead of trying to conform.
Make your life about a purpose and start working on a system that you can excel.
Nowhere near it, but haven’t started looking for a place to get a helium or nitrogen tank yet so I call it a win. Tbh I should hurry up so I have more money left to leave to friends and family but I just haven’t been able to get around to it.
Your friends would almost certainly rather have you than any money you would give them.
I mean, sure, but I see them irl maybe once a year, and it’s easy to forget people exist (or existed) when you only interact with them online. I’m always the one reaching out and trying to do things and god knows I’ve let enough friendships vanish by getting sick of it and stopping initiating things and watching them never notice.
I don’t think it’s as easy as you think. It sure isn’t for me. There are a lot of friends I have lost touch with over the years that I think of often. And hope are still around.
At this point it’s just more of a question of when, not if
🤷♀️
30s give you “Dadbod Multplier”
Yayyyy, another reason to kill myself
I’ll be honest this makes me feel so much less alone. I should have completed my engineering degree by now, but honestly not blaming COVID itself but the situations around it and the isolation among other things sent me down a never ending spiral to the bottom. I come to learn I barely holding on by a thread most of my life and it started to unravel at 21-22. Getting ADHD takes forever in the UK, I just hope I can survive or find something to hold me up until that. I went from potential family top earner to a lost loser who is anxious when seeing people nowadays.
I’m my case it was an autism diagnosis but otherwise yes.
For anyone reading this who may not be aware, there’s a lot of overlap between the two diagnoses, and there’s a chance you may have both.
ADHD may actually be a spectrum disorder. I’ve seen a few studies over the last few years that suggest this.
It does “feel” like that to me. Some days it helps me do my job better, some days it takes an hour between deciding to brush my teeth and actually doing it.
Sooo… where do we go after stage 3? The meds just make me nap a lot :(
Work with a therapist to improve coping strategies and improve your sleep hygiene. If the meds are making you nap, chances are it’s because they’re allowing you to relax enough to actually rest. Developing habits that help you to sleep better may help (I’m pretty terribad at it myself).
living out in the woods, getting dirt on your hands, and learning to work well with feelings again.
Unmedicated, unemployed, and homeless. Like me.
try different meds or take them at a different time of day, many people experience a “crash” when stimulance like adderall or medikinet where off.
I take part of my meds in the afternoon (unless i forget it again…) because that way they where off closer to bed time.
Serious questions. If I think this is me, is there any benefit to getting an official diagnosis? And if so, what’s the best/least scammy way to go about it?
Maybe some type of med would improve your quality of life, and they are only available over the counter to folks with diagnosis+prescription. Having a diagnosis might give you a mental framework to to ‘get to work’ on improving the least fun things about it :) , like self help tips n tricks, or maybe working with a psychologist to see what might help you the most.
I will point out that, in the US at least, an official diagnosis isn’t required to get those meds. It’s just a lot easier to be prescribed them with it. I’m not officially diagnosed but I do see a psychiatrist who was willing to try them with no prompting from me.
Ultimately though they didn’t work out because of the impact on my blood pressure, I’m on non-scheduled ADHD meds now that have made a huge difference.
What non-scheduled meds, if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve tried a few supplements, but no luck yet.
Straterra is what I found worked for me. It still needs to be prescribed.
It opens up options that your future self may want/need. There are many potential barriers to treatment, you really don’t want to deal with these when you actually need to rely on those services.
Advice depends on location, some systems are harsh. Try to find groups in your area. You will be responsible for your outcome. Health professionals provide guidance and facilitate treatment. Medications can make things easier and enable more reliable behavior, but can be quite user-specific. Professional guidance highly advised.
Try reading this. It’s dense, but extremely informative. https://annas-archive.org/* md5/1a4afb16e9cd8cd7799697ad09c4d08a
The funniest part is I had the diagnosis as a kid but no one did anything about it. They were just trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I got rediagnosed as an adult and got on medication.
I guess knowing about it meant I didn’t have to spend years trying to figure out why I was considered gifted but couldn’t get shit done.
I got told because I was good as a kid I couldn’t have it. Our system is terrible at actually dealing with the issue.
Crazy part was I only started wondering if I had it after getting prescribed double Sudafed for bad cold/congestion and could suddenly focus
I’m now one further in the “incapacitated for years” state
Wtf … is this real?
I got diagnosed recently and don’t want my job back. Freelancing is the way to go. Stay away from corporate culture, stay strong.
I wish I could be like you.
I also have recently-diagnosed ADHD, and could never do freelance because I feel constantly burnt out and unmotivated all the time, even when doing absolutely nothing. I have to be in a structured environment with clear goals, or my life completely falls apart.
Not going to assume anything, but ADHD can manifest itself in different ways depending on your gender. And there’s also the fact that it is a complex disability. You’re lucky enough to have the type of ADHD that allows you to be productive. My parents have the same kind. I’m unlucky enough to have the “gifted child who grows up to disappoint their parents” type of ADHD.
I relate to this tweet hard, because it describes my life to a T.
Yes for sure, it wasn’t easy. I left my job and hit rock bottom for roughly 3 yrs, spent long time with psychedelics and then my first mushroom trip gave the right perspective- is this how normal should feel like?
I didn’t know shit. I thought maybe I was psychopathic, maybe sociopath, then assumed I’m just stupid. The doctor initially diagnosed me for Anxiety, that still left a lot of ocd behavior and helped little with social anxiety. That meant I couldn’t work with people, avoided client calls even.
After diagnosis it kinda felt I’m cheating because things were so much easier now. I could run circles around the peers who made me insecure. Dont get me wrong I’m still jobless and drowning in debt, but hopeful instead of crippled with depression (huge win)
same, same, same, and same.
You shut your god damned accurate mouth.
NEVERRRRRRRR!
I’ve passed the third section and moved into the fourth, horrible section. “Diagnosed ADHD but no medication will work.”
Went through most if not all of the stimulant treatments 15+ years ago. The most reaction I got was panic attacks for routine stuff at work. In the meantime depression has taken over, with similar lack of response to treatment.
I feel like I’m an onion inside of a Russian nesting doll stuck in a can of worms that tumbled out of Pandora’s box and down the stairs to be kicked around the neighborhood by bored old timey kids before getting stuck in a storm drain and abandoned.
Maybe what you’re experiencing is an accurate emotional assessment of the state of our society.
I was in GT classes in middle school and my freshman year of high school and I absolutely did not belong there. But, you know, I liked teaching myself things so obviously I should be put in the class that made me do extra boring bullshit work.
Why yes, I did end up dropping out of high school and getting a GED.
Never been evaluated for ADHD, but I have basically all the symptoms my daughter, who definitely has ADHD, has, or had them at her age.
