community mods are - just like on Reddit - too scared to ban people
There’s those, and there’s also the opposite.
Some communities on larger instances have been infiltrated by mods who are happy to remove comments and ban users in direct contradiction of their own community rules, going as far as citing the rule a comment is explicitly following as the reason for removal or ban, just because it doesn’t match their personal ideology.
Other mods will engage obvious trolls, going as far as telling them which rules they’re breaking over and over, not putting an end to it even when the troll admits breaking the rules on purpose and starts insulting the mods directly… but the troll’s initial arguments had a clear ideological slant which seems to align with the mod’s, so no modding there.
Coincidentally, both of those seem to happen with “power mods”, who are “modding” dozens of communities.
I can’t go a day without someone call me a “r——d”
It may feel hard, but when you get insulted, you report it, and there is no modding in sight… I’d suggest leaving (blocking) that community.
There is a reason there are like 20+ “cats” communities on different instances, not everyone can get along even on a seemingly innocuous topic like that.
I think it’s important for me to mention that I have blocked several instances and dozens of users over the last two weeks. I am aware of these solutions, but eventually (in such a small world like the fediverse) all the removals start adding up and you start realizing there’s little left. 
I wouldn’t call the fediverse particularly “small”, there are over 1000 Lemmy instances, with the total fediverse clocking at over 3 million active users (around 12 million accounts), and while the interactions on the different projects are not all the same, I think there is a lot of options to choose from.
And technically… Lemmy doesn’t support much of it (yet), but all projects can interact with each other.
Some tools may be still missing, but I think it should be possible to find a comfy place for everyone.
I understand what you are saying, but there is no denying that most people on Lemmy are just kind of browsing across instances and not paying particular attention to where they are. The default setup is not your subscriptions or local instance, so it’s to be expected. As a result there is a bleeding effect, for lack of a better term, and a general culture that is emerging across most of the posts any one would see on a given day. And unfortunately, the tone of these conversations has become increasingly heated lately. Or at least it seems that way to me.
In the grand scheme of things, 3,000,000 active users is not that large. Only a fraction of them are posting and engaging in the comment sections. I regularly see the same people almost every day in comments. There are some instances where it’s literally the same 15 to 20 people basically carrying on all conversation while thousands look on. 
There’s those, and there’s also the opposite.
Some communities on larger instances have been infiltrated by mods who are happy to remove comments and ban users in direct contradiction of their own community rules, going as far as citing the rule a comment is explicitly following as the reason for removal or ban, just because it doesn’t match their personal ideology.
Other mods will engage obvious trolls, going as far as telling them which rules they’re breaking over and over, not putting an end to it even when the troll admits breaking the rules on purpose and starts insulting the mods directly… but the troll’s initial arguments had a clear ideological slant which seems to align with the mod’s, so no modding there.
Coincidentally, both of those seem to happen with “power mods”, who are “modding” dozens of communities.
It may feel hard, but when you get insulted, you report it, and there is no modding in sight… I’d suggest leaving (blocking) that community.
There is a reason there are like 20+ “cats” communities on different instances, not everyone can get along even on a seemingly innocuous topic like that.
I think it’s important for me to mention that I have blocked several instances and dozens of users over the last two weeks. I am aware of these solutions, but eventually (in such a small world like the fediverse) all the removals start adding up and you start realizing there’s little left. 
I wouldn’t call the fediverse particularly “small”, there are over 1000 Lemmy instances, with the total fediverse clocking at over 3 million active users (around 12 million accounts), and while the interactions on the different projects are not all the same, I think there is a lot of options to choose from.
And technically… Lemmy doesn’t support much of it (yet), but all projects can interact with each other.
Some tools may be still missing, but I think it should be possible to find a comfy place for everyone.
I understand what you are saying, but there is no denying that most people on Lemmy are just kind of browsing across instances and not paying particular attention to where they are. The default setup is not your subscriptions or local instance, so it’s to be expected. As a result there is a bleeding effect, for lack of a better term, and a general culture that is emerging across most of the posts any one would see on a given day. And unfortunately, the tone of these conversations has become increasingly heated lately. Or at least it seems that way to me.
In the grand scheme of things, 3,000,000 active users is not that large. Only a fraction of them are posting and engaging in the comment sections. I regularly see the same people almost every day in comments. There are some instances where it’s literally the same 15 to 20 people basically carrying on all conversation while thousands look on.