I’d sum up my everyday experience with just that: I can’t make habits. Or form a routine.
every fucking thing is a conscious effort, nothing really becomes routine regardless of for how long I am doing it. Even the things I do routinely I have to do while actively paying attention, like my morning “routine”.
Always a mental checklist. Last time I was really tired and just slogged through without thinking I literally forgot to brush half of my teeth.
It’s so exhausting. In a couple weeks I have a new evaluation appointment for medication, I hope that helps somewhat.
Yeah, if I can forget that I’m physically addicted to caffeine, I can forget a habit. Pshhh that’s easy level stuff. When you have to actively ask yourself, “what should I be doing, right now?” And the answer is, eat something, it’s been 28 hours since your last meal. Don’t get me wrong, I made meals for my wife and kids, they ate… I just forgot to.
every fucking thing is a conscious effort, nothing really becomes routine regardless of for how long I am doing it. Even the things I do routinely I have to do while actively paying attention, like my morning “routine”.
Yeah, nothing I do becomes easier as I do them routinely. If anything it becomes harder and overtime the routine just isn’t sustainable.
Anything that do become a habit is always because of external pressure, which without it the habit will immediately puff to nothing. But like another meme said, we hate those external pressure, but can’t live without it.
I’m the same way. It’s ironic given that I posted this meme, but when I can use them lists really help.
In my case, if I travel somewhere for 3 days, when I get back, many of the routines I had at my original location will have evaporated no matter how long I had them, so I made a list, and have been trying to build a routine-recovering routine. It’s slow going for other reasons but I’ve been very slowly working on it for 5 years now and it has helped at times when I’ve needed it (and remembered it exists).
Here’s my additional tip to OP’s tip: if you are someone who holds habits like a sieve holds water, you have to be even more intentional about forming habits, and form multiple interlocking habits that cue you. I’m at a very stressful time in life right now so it’s hard for me to remember details but like, I wanted to develop a daily meditation habit. But what I had to do in order for it to actually stick, was develop a ritual out of interlocking habits: getting my tea, lighting some incense, doing the actual meditation, once finished immediately having a rewarding sip of tea, dusting off my cushion, writing a brief journal entry afterwards (this is the one that tipped it over the edge for me for some reason) with a piece of dark chocolate. I also put little succulents by my altar with a lamp on a timer that comes on in the morning, so just the lit-up presence of plants which I need to tend every few days draws me toward the altar if I’ve forgotten or postponed my sit.
You have to be like this with everything that doesn’t come naturally. Yes, it’s extremely intentional, which is exhausting. Yes it’s a lot of hit or miss, trial and error, because of all the little sub-habits I just described above, there will be a number you try which end up not working for you. So you have to be persistent at messing around with your habit-sculpture long enough to find a permutation which works for you, and being persistent at things like this can be very difficult for people like us. In that case, I recommend sheer desperation, it helps with the persistence.
I’d sum up my everyday experience with just that: I can’t make habits. Or form a routine.
every fucking thing is a conscious effort, nothing really becomes routine regardless of for how long I am doing it. Even the things I do routinely I have to do while actively paying attention, like my morning “routine”.
Always a mental checklist. Last time I was really tired and just slogged through without thinking I literally forgot to brush half of my teeth.
It’s so exhausting. In a couple weeks I have a new evaluation appointment for medication, I hope that helps somewhat.
Yeah, if I can forget that I’m physically addicted to caffeine, I can forget a habit. Pshhh that’s easy level stuff. When you have to actively ask yourself, “what should I be doing, right now?” And the answer is, eat something, it’s been 28 hours since your last meal. Don’t get me wrong, I made meals for my wife and kids, they ate… I just forgot to.
That moment where I start getting a headache around 11am because I forgot to make coffee after breakfast…
Right.
Afaik I don’t have adhd, but this is so relatable
Yeah, nothing I do becomes easier as I do them routinely. If anything it becomes harder and overtime the routine just isn’t sustainable.
Anything that do become a habit is always because of external pressure, which without it the habit will immediately puff to nothing. But like another meme said, we hate those external pressure, but can’t live without it.
I’m the same way. It’s ironic given that I posted this meme, but when I can use them lists really help.
In my case, if I travel somewhere for 3 days, when I get back, many of the routines I had at my original location will have evaporated no matter how long I had them, so I made a list, and have been trying to build a routine-recovering routine. It’s slow going for other reasons but I’ve been very slowly working on it for 5 years now and it has helped at times when I’ve needed it (and remembered it exists).
Here’s my additional tip to OP’s tip: if you are someone who holds habits like a sieve holds water, you have to be even more intentional about forming habits, and form multiple interlocking habits that cue you. I’m at a very stressful time in life right now so it’s hard for me to remember details but like, I wanted to develop a daily meditation habit. But what I had to do in order for it to actually stick, was develop a ritual out of interlocking habits: getting my tea, lighting some incense, doing the actual meditation, once finished immediately having a rewarding sip of tea, dusting off my cushion, writing a brief journal entry afterwards (this is the one that tipped it over the edge for me for some reason) with a piece of dark chocolate. I also put little succulents by my altar with a lamp on a timer that comes on in the morning, so just the lit-up presence of plants which I need to tend every few days draws me toward the altar if I’ve forgotten or postponed my sit.
You have to be like this with everything that doesn’t come naturally. Yes, it’s extremely intentional, which is exhausting. Yes it’s a lot of hit or miss, trial and error, because of all the little sub-habits I just described above, there will be a number you try which end up not working for you. So you have to be persistent at messing around with your habit-sculpture long enough to find a permutation which works for you, and being persistent at things like this can be very difficult for people like us. In that case, I recommend sheer desperation, it helps with the persistence.