Sorry if this seems stupid. My kid was diagnosed with type 1 autism, formerly asperger’s. We weren’t even testing them for that (it was adhd), but the doc pointed out a lot of behaviors that are classified as autistic. I never thought of those behaviors that way, because I did a bunch of that stuff when I was a teen, too. I just learned I was weird and figured the rest was due to my super dysfunctional family. I’ve learned to cope. I keep my weirdness to myself and pass for a normal person pretty well. No one would ever guess I’m autistic (again, I’ve no diagnosis but it’s implied).

So, with that context, would there even be a point to getting a diagnosis? What would it benefit me? I’m middle aged, so I don’t need educational accommodations. I’ve learned to adapt, so idk if I’d even be diagnosable.

Idk. I’m still just messed up learning that my kid, who I thought was neurotypical and a LOT like me is considered autistic. How different would my childhood have been if I had been evaluated when I was younger?

  • dasgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    8 months ago

    First of all I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this. As a parent, I’m sure it must be difficult to see so many things reflected in your kid, but in an entirely different context of autism.

    A couple pointers:

    This is rather semantic, but the modern understanding of autism is that it’s a spectrum. Asperger’s is no longer an official diagnosis, but using the word can clarify what type of autism you’re dealing with. Autism comes in a myriad of forms.

    I also want to say, I think an adult diagnosis can help in understanding yourself, and understanding your own relation to the world. It can re-contextualize your experiences you’ve had. And it can help you deal with current and future challenges. You may not need educational help, but many people who are diagnosed with anything like adhd or autism struggle with something in their lives, a struggle that mostly stems from being neuro-atypical. Educational, vocational or professional challenges are not the only things people with autism can struggle with. I struggle with human contact, intimacy, connection and black and white thinking, for example.

    Lastly, and I know this may be hard to read. And please don’t take this personally. This isn’t your Kids fault. I only say this because it is something that happens sometimes. A parent learns about their own struggles, their own challenges, through their kid’s diagnosis and care, and sometimes parents can’t separate the kid from their own challenges anymore. This isn’t necessarily directed at you, OP. But they need you right now, no matter how much you may be hurting yourself. Being diagnosed as a kid can be terrifying. My first question when I was diagnosed at 9 years old was ‘Am I gonna die?’

    I hope you have people to lean on. Truly do. You need to decide if you need a diagnosis for yourself. If that’s gonna help you make life easier, understand yourself and your place in the world better. Maybe talk to people who went through that when they were older. I know some people who had a late diagnosis and even though it messed them up for a few days (I mean, you put your entire life in a different context, it’s not nothing) it ultimately helped them.

    Hope it helps. Wishing you and the kid the best. Take care.