• actionjbone@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    191·
    8 months ago

    Granted. You didn’t specify five of what, though.

    Five stoners are now in your living room. They’ve ordered pizza, and they charged it to your credit card. They’re passing joints around, occasionally dropping ash and cinders onto your floor and furniture. They start talking to you about your place in the universe.

  • YoFrodo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    8 months ago

    Granted, but you miss the 2nd low five that would have completed the Top Gun high five combo and are now devastated

  • GlitterInfection@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    8 months ago

    Granted. The monkey’s paw sneaks up behind you and gives you the ultimate High five, which is a very morose slang term for HIV (Hi-V).

  • DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.caEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    Granted. The paw appears before your eyes and gives you such a strong high five, you break your third metacarpal.

  • kromem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    61·
    8 months ago

    Granted. Cheech, Chong, Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, and Seth Rogan all magically appear in front of you, eyes bloodshot.

    They pat their pockets, pull them inside out, and look around confused.

    All at once, their glazed eyes settle on you.

    If you had any weed, it seems to have disappeared. In fact, it’s disappeared worldwide.

    They seem to be getting more agitated and angry at you as they become an increasingly less high five.

    Willie grabs a kitchen knife.

    You start to run.

  • insomniac_lemon@kbin.social
    5·
    8 months ago

    \

    With your wish supposedly granted, a dazzling array of lights fills your view as you are transported through time and space to an otherworldly jungle.

    Before you is a 3-eyed primate, whom you gather is the very same wish-granter in their original form, holding their hand up in the air expecting your reaction.

    Moments pass. The smile fades from the chimp’s face as they are left hanging while your reality-lagged brain tries to process your surroundings. You swing your arm but…

    You were too slow. As your hand fails to connect to another… your body falls forward onto the ground, already dead from the sheer disappointment (or perhaps a severe high-five deficiency).

  • RiderExMachina@lemmy.mlEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    Granted. This high five, and all others that will come after, will never have that satisfying {clap} sound or feeling, but your friends, family members, and co-workers will get it every time.

    Alternative

    Every one of your high five afterwards will be the clap sound effect from most modern pop hits.

    • insomniac_lemon@kbin.social
      2·
      8 months ago

      Granted. This high five, and all others that will come after, will never have that satisfying {clap} sound or feeling

      It would make more sense to say that the high-five from a magic chimp would be so good that even the best high five after would not even be in the same category, thus would not even be worth doing. Which most of the time would not matter, but some people might think you’re being a jerk.

      Every one of your high five afterwards will be the clap sound effect from most modern pop hits.

      I have no idea on that but if it’s a really punch-y sound (like in the Friends theme song) I can’t see that being bad. Sorry, only thing I can thing of.

      I could see a sound effect being funny maybe but probably just annoying or maybe just boring if it matters at all.

  • ekZepp@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    7 months ago

    Granted

    The monkey paw appear mid air ahead of you, an invisible force freeze your body and with terrific strength rip off your right hand. The hand fly off and high five the paw, then the paw disappear. You can move now but your hand is gone.