Hi, we’re a tech startup run by libertarian Silicon Valley tech bros.

We’re not a newspaper, we’re a content portal.
We’re not a taxi service, we’re a ride sharing app.
We’re not a pay TV service, we’re a streaming platform.
We’re not a department store, we’re an e-commerce marketplace.
We’re not a financial services firm, we’re crypto.
We’re not a space agency, we’re a group of visionaries who are totally going to Mars next year.
We’re not a copywriting and graphic design agency, we’re a large language model generative AI platform.

Oh sure, we compete against those established businesses. We basically provide the same goods and services.

But we’re totally not those things. At least from a legal and PR standpoint.

And that means all the laws and regulations that have built up over the decades around those industries don’t apply to us.

Things like consumer protections, privacy protections, minimum wage laws, local content requirements, safety regulations, environmental protections… They totally don’t apply to us.

Even copyright laws — as long as we’re talking about everyone else’s intellectual property.

We’re going to move fast and break things — and then externalise the costs of the things we break.

We’ve also raised several billion in VC funding, and we’ll sell our products below cost — even give them away for free for a time — until we run our competition out of the market.

Once we have a near monopoly, we’ll enshitify the hell out of our service and jack up prices.

You won’t believe what you agreed to in our terms of service agreement.

We may also be secretly hoarding your personal information. We know who you are, we know where you work, we know where you live. But you can trust us.

By the time the regulators and the general public catch on to what we’re doing, we will have well and truly moved on to our next grift.

By the way, don’t forget to check out our latest innovation. It’s the Uber of toothpaste!

#startup #business #tech #technology @technology

  • Aceticon@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I was a couple of years in the Tech Startup World not long ago, but at a point when I was already an Old Seadog of a Techie (having crossed a couple of Industries to get there, including Finance, and qualified amonst other things in Business Analysis, so I did saw everything also from a business angle).

    People’s motivations are not AT ALL about profits or even creating a legacy in the form of a successful company: Tech Startups are made from the very start to make the Founders and Early Adopter filthy rich via an Exist Strategy (normally IPO or Buyout by a larger company).

    This is actually all very open (if there is one thing Founders discuss a lot is Exit Strategies) and Pitching is all about convincing early investors that they’re going to make a lot of money. Sure, the right bollocks is fed to the (almost always young and naive) techies to make them work crazy hours for little more than promisses (usually broken, often quite purposefully using financial mechanisms like stock dillution) of lots of money from stock options, as well as to the small investors who buy the stock at or post IPO (who are seen as marks no just here but by the Finance Industry, of which Startups are nowadays pretty much just another arm, in general), but if you’re actually inside the Industry with enough experience in the right areas, it’s pretty obvious what drives those who control it (which nowadays are people from Finance, Marketing and other Sales-similar areas, seldom Techies)

    Unlike in the previous wave of Startups (back in the late 90s, during which I was also in the Industry, but more peripherally) people aren’t out to make great things or create a self-sustained companies: it’s all about the big score in the form of a successful IPO or massive buyout.