The bible, that’s god book, as far as I know the devil hasn’t brought out a book yet, haven’t heard his side of the argument. God’s just writing shit about him, and the devil’s being the bigger man and saying I’m not even going to comment, talking shit about me like that.
If God and Satan each held out a hand and said “come with me, I’ll keep you safe and totally won’t kill you”
I’m going with Satan. Way better odds
I’ll always think of Jim Jefferies on this topic.
Jim’s the best. I need to catch up on his recent material
…but then it turns out God created a false image of Satan to trick you, so now you’ve gone with God and you’ve pissed him off.
Oh God, never stop being an insecure evil bastard