I think that feeling comes with the knowledge that what you’re doing isn’t giving you any satisfaction. I dunno. I do the same thing. about once a year or so I just want to disappear. Social activities are a big no, talking to people, maintaining any kind of social contact… just right out the window.

It has to do with early childhood trauma that turned into a fawn response and it’s just gradually developed into something particularly debilitating. it’s a struggle just to keep myself warm, fed and hygienic during these times. Luckily I’ve somehow ended up in a full time remote position, so at least I’m not crying in my cubicle anymore.

a commenter below talked about his uber rides, and I can say I’ve done the same. Where I get in, say yup, it’s me, and then stare out the window silently until I get out.

Dude, I don’t know but at least it helps knowing that other people feel this way too. I always wondered how people could get some random low-paying bullshit job (of which I’ve had MANY), and then just… work. day-in, day-out, for like decades, with no real breaks. Some random, meaningless, stupid job that doesn’t provide anything of any real value to society and… people just do it their whole lives! How the fuck do they not kill themselves?? How do they keep showing up??