My wife and I are 31, no kids yet. We moved from a major city back to our home state and are struggling to make friends here.
We keep an eye on meetup postings and Facebook events, stuff like that, no luck. We went to a local board game night and it was all elderly people. Nothing wrong with that but not exactly what we’re looking for.
Where we lived before we attended a church we liked and met people there, but churches in our area are a lot different/more political than we’re used to.
I guess eventually we’ll have kids and meet other parents, but how do we make friends now at this stage in our lives?
You mentioned trying board games, any interest in TTRPGs like Dungeons and Dragons and the like? The game is basically designed to forge friendships. If you or your partner is willing to learn to be the Dungeon Master, you’ll have no trouble finding players, in fact you may have so many interested individuals you have to do brief interviews lol.
I love D&D and she’s interested in trying it. This could be a good prospect.
Anything where you’re meeting the same people on repeat occasions. It’s pretty rare to form a friendship after only meeting people one or a couple of times. Friendships are often formed gradually. It’s easier growing up because it’s structured into so many things. You see the same people in classes, sports, clubs, etc. Friendships will form naturally in those settings. Try to find something to replicate that. It could be volunteer work, a workshop to learn something new, joining a community that shares a hobby. The key is bumping into the same people over and over
Thanks. This is really good advice.
That’s all I came here to say
I 100% agree that repeating an activity weekly is important.
I always recommend bowling, because the teams are 4-5 people and it’s a weekly event with alcohol to make everything less awkward. 99.999% don’t care if you suck, and the .001% that does is a Karen.
We’ve had great luck with Bumble BFF. Moved to a new city and was surprised all of our friends fit in our house on my birthday 6 months after moving
joina cult
Or create one.
Swingers sex cult will get everybody interested. make sure they leave the kids at home, though.
You have more fun as a follower but make more money as a leader.
As they say if you want to make a million dollars start a religion.
Given OPs need, i suggest The Quakers.
I’d guess hobbies are another decent jumping off point. Unless you don’t have time for anything outside of work, eat, sleep, repeat. Then you’re SoL.
I’m a socialphobe. My therapist told me to attend gyms, basketball and taikwondu classes with people of my age around
This might seem crazy, but climbing/bouldering. I started a few months ago and I can’t stop meeting new people at 34. If you’re even peripherally social you’re bound to make friends.
I always met people on parties, but you need a initial friend to invite you to some.
Rekindle old friendships. Every time you do something together, plant a seed for the next thing you’re going to do. Meet new people through them. If you like the people, don’t say no to anything you’re invited to. Rinse, repeat.
You could always try volunteering for an organization you both like together. I’ve met several friends by doing this, plus it’s fun.
Local team sports are really good ways to meet new people, and since it’s all about teamwork, bonds form pretty naturally. Plus it’s good to exercise!
We used to go to a bar to play darts on Tuesday nights and started seeing the same people there each week. Same with trivia nights. I’m in Texas and there are some groups here called 'sports and social clubs". They do bowling leagues, kick ball games, beer pong tournaments, etc.
Going to a local ish (not entirely tourist) bar at the same time every week is a good one!
Not seen anyone say this yet, but last year my partner and I were in a similar boat. Bumble (the dating app) has a “BFF” mode for making friends. It’s worked out amazingly for us and we now have a great group.
It can take a bit of persistence, and like dating, some won’t work out. But it’s a great way to meet potential friends, and even in relatively small cities you’ll find some people on there.
An old friend (30) recently moved to my area with their fiancé and they used bumble friends to find new friends. Dunno if it would work in a smaller place but maybe if you’re near the city
Do you have dogs, plants. If not, adopt one (with good preparation). You’ll meet dog people, plants people and they’re usually chill ;).
