the joke answer is “go touch grass” but let’s be honest it’s not always because they’re incel types (though my guess is that’s usually it)

assorted thoughts:

• most people have at least mild mental health problems and that often makes it hard to connect with people in a healthy way. i fall directly and pathetically into this category myself
• fuckin capitalism profits from isolating people and dissolving community infrastructure that traditionally facilitated dating
• it’s way easier to think about how hard it is to interact with potential dates and all the things that could go wrong, than it is to think about all the times you’ve successfully interacted with humans (with dating intentions or otherwise) and it turned out fine or even fantastic. even worse, we’re wired to remember negative experiences with more detail. all my horrible awkward attempts at flirting are chiseled in fuckin marble in my memory, while the times i was normal AND lucky enough for it to be reciprocated, i barely remember in comparison. :[