I used to know a guy named Ed back in the early-mid '80’s who was a professional college student. We were both attending the local junior college. I was about 19 or 20, he was about 30. He was tall, had long straight dark hair and a full, fairly long beard with a fairly prominent hawk nose. One day, his parents finally got tired of him avoiding adulthood and declared they were no longer going to support him and he had to get a job. He showed up to classes with a short hair cut and no beard. We all had to do a double-take. He seriously had no chin, and combined with that big hawk nose, his profile had become so comically different from what it had been that everyone who knew him was noticeably shocked by the transformation. He went from having a long profile with a prominent nose to a little round head with a huge beak sticking out. He went from a moderately imposing figure to a sadly goofy looking character just like that. I watched a couple of different people just kind of blurt out stuff like “eww grow it back!” etc. It was crazy to see how everyone’s perception of him changed overnight…
I once was friend adjacent to this really hot girl that would always wear perfect form fitting jeans and had these beautiful smoky eyes with the little white dabs on the inside, gorgeous, sleek hair, and incredible pouty lips.
One day I bumped into her in a random context, and she was wearing bad jeans with no makeup, hair not done, and no bra, and she said hi, and I honestly didn’t even recognize her. I was being super polite, but I was basically just going on with my shit until she made it obvious she clearly knew me, and I was like oh shit, hey Emily what’s up.
Like, it was shocking how much of her “look” was artifice. She was completely unrecognizable. Basically, she hated me after that, but I’m friends with her ex, and he told me she took TWO HOURS every day to go out in the morning for work or to something in the evening. Like, what the fuck? People make themselves look better for other people to show their best selves (as they think of it), and I get that.
And the idea that only women do it is ridiculous. But the fact is, if you work really hard to look a lot different then you do without the work, then expect people to see you different when you don’t. That goes for women AND men.
Nothing wrong with it either way, but, that’s just the truth. Girls with their makeup and filter magic sometimes create an image that seems like it would be awful to maintain and destined to be emotionally devastating if it’s not maintained. Boys do the same thing with their personas and shit.
No one likes to be laid bare, but it’s a lot less devastating when who you are on the normal is at least relatively close to who you present yourself to be.
The insecure boy-men and the makeup queens all deserve each other.
Clean yourself regularly, groom yourself like you care, be interesting and kind, have a personality, develop skills, dress well, minimize your flaws (it shows you know yourself), maximize your strengths (it shows you know yourself), and be confident. You’ll be happier that way, and, as far as I can tell, that advice applies to everyone.
I used to know a guy named Ed back in the early-mid '80’s who was a professional college student. We were both attending the local junior college. I was about 19 or 20, he was about 30. He was tall, had long straight dark hair and a full, fairly long beard with a fairly prominent hawk nose. One day, his parents finally got tired of him avoiding adulthood and declared they were no longer going to support him and he had to get a job. He showed up to classes with a short hair cut and no beard. We all had to do a double-take. He seriously had no chin, and combined with that big hawk nose, his profile had become so comically different from what it had been that everyone who knew him was noticeably shocked by the transformation. He went from having a long profile with a prominent nose to a little round head with a huge beak sticking out. He went from a moderately imposing figure to a sadly goofy looking character just like that. I watched a couple of different people just kind of blurt out stuff like “eww grow it back!” etc. It was crazy to see how everyone’s perception of him changed overnight…
Moral of the story: adulting sucks and beards rule.
I once was friend adjacent to this really hot girl that would always wear perfect form fitting jeans and had these beautiful smoky eyes with the little white dabs on the inside, gorgeous, sleek hair, and incredible pouty lips.
One day I bumped into her in a random context, and she was wearing bad jeans with no makeup, hair not done, and no bra, and she said hi, and I honestly didn’t even recognize her. I was being super polite, but I was basically just going on with my shit until she made it obvious she clearly knew me, and I was like oh shit, hey Emily what’s up.
Like, it was shocking how much of her “look” was artifice. She was completely unrecognizable. Basically, she hated me after that, but I’m friends with her ex, and he told me she took TWO HOURS every day to go out in the morning for work or to something in the evening. Like, what the fuck? People make themselves look better for other people to show their best selves (as they think of it), and I get that.
And the idea that only women do it is ridiculous. But the fact is, if you work really hard to look a lot different then you do without the work, then expect people to see you different when you don’t. That goes for women AND men.
Nothing wrong with it either way, but, that’s just the truth. Girls with their makeup and filter magic sometimes create an image that seems like it would be awful to maintain and destined to be emotionally devastating if it’s not maintained. Boys do the same thing with their personas and shit.
No one likes to be laid bare, but it’s a lot less devastating when who you are on the normal is at least relatively close to who you present yourself to be.
The insecure boy-men and the makeup queens all deserve each other.
Clean yourself regularly, groom yourself like you care, be interesting and kind, have a personality, develop skills, dress well, minimize your flaws (it shows you know yourself), maximize your strengths (it shows you know yourself), and be confident. You’ll be happier that way, and, as far as I can tell, that advice applies to everyone.