I bought a switch because I wanted to fit in with everyone else and play party games with friends (fuck family). I played Mario party and I had a good time, it was fun and the RNG was great I had never in my life played a game where it didnât matter how well you did it could all fuck up at the end which happened MULTIPLE times. I donât know why I bought a switch because I realized later I could have just purchased the joy remotes for a disgusting 70 dollars but instead I went to my friends house like a fucking doofus showing up with a Nintendo switch under my arm and the device literally dropping onto the floor after it came loose from the dick. âYou donât need to use yoursâ my friend laughed âwe just need oneâ are you fucking kidding me? âThen why the fuck did you tell me to get one?â Mood changed instantly, not my fault.
I wasnât having fun at all, I was just thinking âI spent 300 dollars on this piece of shit, thatâs 4 grocery shopping days, thatâs more clothes, thatâs this that whatever anything but this piece of filth Nintendo switch you fucking losers go soy over. So every time itâs my turn I angrily play and I make sure people know Iâm angry, it got to a point I rolled so poorly I threw my joycon and left the couch, everyone went quiet but I didnât give a fuck. One of my friends who has a romantic interest in me (not reciprocated) started rubbing me on my back, âbad day?â They said and I just felt even more angry but this time the anger was directed towards them. âI know you like me but I donât like youâ I said, they cried, left, donât care, I spent 300 dollars on a piece of shit Iâm never going to use.
None of my friends know how to navigate around me so it always feels like theyâre hostages trying to ease their way out of the situation where they have a gun pointed at them, itâs pretty selfish of them considering I was the hostage and they were the shooters shooting me with âbuy switchâ or âZelda is a good game itâs just like dark soulsâ or âget one itâll improve your moodâ has it fucking really? Has it improved my mood? What would improve my mood would be if someone paid me 300 dollars to piss shit and set the switch on fire and then throw it at someone playing happilyâs head, that would improve my mood. Instead I have to use my adult fingers to navigate around a tiny ass âcontrollerâ itâs a fucking joke, just to have fun⊠your idea of âfun.â
I get Zelda because if it wasnât clear already I am a dickhead, âitâs like dark soulsâ that one prick told me, wrong, nothing like dark souls why did I listen to this prick? My life is like dark souls because I have people laughing and lying at me, Iâm always losing my SOULS because some MERCHANT ââfriendsââ tells me to buy this item because it will improve my VITALITY what a load of bullshit. Zelda sucks it looks like a unity project some kid made on the school computers, the story is literally âwe repackaged the first game and sold it to you again because you are a loser and keep paying us money.â Tale as old as time for all Nintendo games tbh, smash, Metroid, Mario, Mario kart, sonic, Zelda, insufferable pokemon. I see a lot of people on hexbear talk shit about funko pops as they should, but the moment you condemn pokemon they go off on you like you killed their family. What the fuck, really?
Iâll give it away
I hated the damn gamecube. Under powered and the most annoying thing to put in a backpack to take to a sleepover at a friends and all for no reason other than the gimmick of it being a cube. Donât get me started on their stupid ass tiny disks that youd have to buy a nintendo disk case for cause no normal person had a mini cd case. N64 was last good console and SP was last good nintendo handheld.
The power with the GameCube wasnât the problem, it was the mini discs/CDs. The GameCube was technically more powerful than the PlayStation 2. But due to the insufficient storage space on the discs, textures were compressed to hell and back with DXT1 compression artifacts and 8 bit colour compression. Soundtracks were cut, especially on third party games. Which meant that all the third party games looked the worst on the GameCube, because the textures consisted of 5 pixels total lol. And the songs and background music was randomly spliced and cut, along with being heavily compressed.
I know this because I did texture modding for GameCube and PlayStation 2 emulation.
Thats both very interesting and infuriating. So if they just used normal disks nintendo may have not gotten the reputation of caring less about graphics and that could have impacted their future console decisions. For better or worse.
The thing is first party Nintendo exclusives still had really high quality textures on the GameCube (due to optimisation of texture compression and decompression), just playing Wind Waker will show that off. It was all the third party games that got affected really badly in the texture department, because it would be way too much effort to redesign the entire game for the GameCube. Especially racing games. Audio was the big area where both first party and third party games suffered, the audio chip on GameCube was slow, and when combined with the storage requirements, it was a big problem.