“Mommy I fwowed up”

“Kitty pooped in my bed”

"I fink I’m gonna - BLARGH! (vomit all over both of us)

“By dose is bleedig”

“Bomby - ACHOO!” (snot all over both our faces)

These are a few of my own experiences with my kids’ bodily fluids. Totally gross, but I did not mean what you were thinking.