I’m not judging you right now, just curious. Does it also feel that (gay) men immediately sexualize other men? Do you do that? Did you feel it was done to you?

Was talking to my partner now (he’s a man, I’m not). Wondered if hearing straight men objectifying women when you’re yourself not into women sounds a lot more jarring and unreasonable, precisely because you’re in a way “sober” about women.

I’m not saying men don’t have a huge damaging influence growing up, that a lot can only break with a lot of effort, but with your brother’s friends it sounds also like a bunch of horny teenagers posturing to each other. Not ideal behavior and not always harmless, but far from making men emotionless hole-seeking creatures.