A buddy and I were camping and tripping shrooms in the desert. At one point, there were a lot of coyotes yapping in the distance, so we panicked a little bit (they aren’t really a threat to people, but we were high). We ran to the truck where our pistols were, but as soon as we saw them, we remembered that we were high as shit and should touch them. We settled on playing loud music, keeping the fire lit, and keeping some wrenches nearby. I’m so glad we had enough sense to leave them alone. We never brought firearms with us at all after that if we planned on doing drugs.

Plot twist: He’s on top of the dinosaur.

And there were ninjas on the fucking lawn trying to kill us!