• Ross_audio@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    41
    arrow-down
    12
    ·
    10 months ago

    Like it or not “the wife” was a change in language seen as progressive not too long ago because it recognises that a man doesn’t own a woman.

    What would you prefer “my wife” implying ownership. “A wife” implying a non specific wife of anyone.

    Or they name them on social media to avoid mentioning their marital status and ignoring their relationship to them.

    I’m genuinely curious how this person should, in your view, refer to the person they’ve married.

    • Firestorm Druid
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      46
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      10 months ago

      My wife is absolutely fine in my books. The same way you can say my friend or my acquaintance or what have you, you can say my spouse/wife/husband/whatever without implying any sort of ownership. My view might be skewed being an ESL, but the same applies to German, Russian, Ukrainian, French, for example, which I speak too. I’ve never heard people complaining over those usages

      • Ross_audio@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        28
        arrow-down
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        I say either my wife, or the wife is fine.

        I’ve just stated the reason “the wife” exists at all is a reaction against historical patriarchal language.

        I’ve heard different people complain about both and they were always insufferable people trying to nit pick the conversation into a boring place.

        Like you!

    • Ulvain@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      32
      ·
      10 months ago

      “My” can, but certainly doesn’t always imply ownership. It implies that the qualifier for person B in the sentence is applied to their relationship to me, person A.

      My banker, my hairdresser, my dentist, my accountant, my contractor, my neighbor, my boss, my elected official, etc.

      Probably not at all on you, here, but this is a good example of “exaggerated progressivism” or fake-woke/politically correct speech. It weakens the credibility of the progressive movement and gives conservatives silly exaggerations to point to and mock, when this kind of stuff emerges.

      Just my 2 cents!

      • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        10 months ago

        My banker, my hairdresser, my dentist, my accountant, my contractor, my neighbor, my boss, my elected official, etc.

        Why do you have slaves? /s

    • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      10 months ago

      I don’t know if “my” always means owning the noun it could mean co-owning the relationship. If I say “my partner” or “my kids” or “my job” I don’t think most people think I am a slave owner who somehow has an unbreakable contract with work.