Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]

  • 4 Posts
  • 385 Comments
Joined 6 months ago
Cake day: December 24th, 2023
  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.nettotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•Trans Megathread for the Week of 6/24 - 6/30 PRIDE EDITION FOUREnglish
    9·
    5 hours ago

    I mean, transition is indeed a process, but also I don’t think you should focus on how hard it would be to detransition if you’re wrong or something. Focus on figuring out what you actually like, try different things, try hormones if you want (you can stop before 3 months with basically no permanent changes).

    For me, I did a partial social transition before I got on E for my own reasons. But also, it’s really hard. That being said it does build up your skin for it though lol.

    I guess, I’d say if you’re unsure, just do some exploration. Nails, plushies, grooming, clothes, wigs (if you want), breast forms, all sorts of things. If you’re in a city there is probably some support group around? Check your local lgbt center if you have one.

    Hormones can come later if you want. But that absolute, 100% knowledge that I’m trans didn’t come for me and I think never would come for me without just trying hormones. Even still idk it’s weird. I’m pretty damn sure but also dysphoria is a bitch and always has me second guessing.

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.nettotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•Anyone here transition later in life? (Book discussion)English
    4·
    5 hours ago

    It’s ok. It is what it is, and honestly we’ve been more so becoming friends again which is so nice. She is straight though lol.

    Yeah, there are a few different ages that I think people tend to come out at and we fall into different categories because we all have similar reasons why we “lasted” so long.

    For me, I’m bi and I’ve known I was queer for a while. But overall I was quite straight presenting. Nobody would even guess that I was anything besides cishet - literally I haven’t gotten one person who’s like “Oh wow… This makes sense” to me.

    But yeah, being straight presenting stops many of us from coming to terms with queerness I think especially trans ness. Being straight presenting is like, such a privilege. People just understand your deal, and nobody bars an eye. So much easier. It’s hard to give it up.

    And then of course, with our age group, being trans wasn’t really… A thing that I knew about until I was older. Like, I hadn’t even met a trans person until late into college and I didn’t understand at the time. Absolutely no visibility. Hell, for us, most of our lives gay marriage was illegal in the first place! Really crazy.

    So yeah don’t beat yourslrf up (idk if you are, but if you are, don’t). We have so much stacked against us and you’re here now :)

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.nettotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•Anyone here transition later in life? (Book discussion)English
    6·
    5 hours ago

    I started transition right before my 30th birthday. I would say the hardest parts for me have been the

    -“am I just a man wearing a dress” thoughts -dealing with coming out at an older age. People expect me to have this all well and figured out by now. -dealing with my entire life changing when I was just getting “started” e.g. my engagement ended as a result. -honestly maybe the worst is feeling like I missed my 20s on some level. Or even more than that, feeling like I missed out on being the girl I always wanted to be. And now I just feel like some in between thing that can’t help but be perceived as a man.

    I think a lot of us older trans folks though don’t identify with the strong “I was a girl in a boy body” trope. For me it was always just that I wanted to be a girl, but didn’t realize that that was an option so I just ignored it and was actually quite good at being a guy.

    Actually the fact that I was good at being a guy sorta kept my egg from cracking for a while too. It really felt I had so much to lose.

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.nettotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•Trans Megathread for the Week of 6/17 - 6/23 PRIDE EDITION THREEEnglish
    6·
    6 days ago

    I’ve definitely been there.

    spoiler

    Like, obviously our situations are different, but like I didn’t even wear facial hair and I look so fundamentally different from before I started transition. I don’t get gendered correctly most of the time but hey I’m so much happier than before with who I am.

    Generally, idt people will see you as a nasty pervert. It can definitely feel that way. I had every single fear you listed here before transition. I still have some of them around people not seeing me especially with family. But the way I’ve gotten past all of it is literally just like… Going and doing it, and realizing people don’t care. People are so much more worried about their own lives than whatever you’re doing.

    I know you don’t believe it’s true but things will get better. There are no rules for this though and you can do it however you want. You can get on estrogen and start laser if you want. There’s no timeline. Things will get better though.

    Fwiw I know a girl who is 6’3 and quite large and she gets misgendered like one time a year. Turns out that having facial fat already built in actually makes you pretty andro. I saw a picture of her beforehand today and she’s unrecognizable from what she looked like before