close enough

I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic.

also comments are beautiful

As a single, older man, I found this essay both beautifully written and insightful. Thank-you!

and

This is an excellent essay, and it’s shocking to see how hatefully it is derided and how many people are in denial of the reality the essay bravely takes on. In terms of mating,

Lockdown era sweaty wild mane and beard Jay x Hot Off The Presses Autumn 2024 Finally Gracefully Aging Greying Buzz Cut Jay please

the UK apparently is using the Malaysian/Hong Kong type of plugs which are annoying as shit. every time you go to HK (and Malaysia) you have to remember to bring the stupid converter because they insist on using stupid special sockets. the plugs are fucking huge and bulky and annoying.

can i get the double sized balls and but and half sized brain please

I’ve been to this park. Seen some things you wouldn’t believe. Monkeys begging for a biscuit then taking the whole bag. Monkeys stealing popsicles from kids. A monkey getting a pepsi from a vending machine and opening the plastic bottle with its teeth. Swole bro monkeys showing off their pecs and asses to tourists. Herds of monkey kids running through the underbrush while park staff could only look on or sometimes try to scare them off with slingshots. Macaques don’t care. They are the majority here. They rule the park.

I heard that when guiyang had a minor lockdown, the macaques that were used to stealing treats from visitors had to go hungry, and then went down from the mountain park into the city below to get their treats one way or the other

unlimited on ranchers, being both landowners and animal torturers/murderers (of cows, of natural predators, and now also of penguins)

The D.E.N.N.I.S system: Dennis Humper, Dennis Dumper, Dennis Hopper og Dennis Farter

do the deuce bigalow european gigolo pose

“already blessed this person with my civilized white presence (and peen), time to move on to the next fortunate improvement subject”

Kevin Costner: I’m a little fancy bowtie boy! Stay away from the Terrible Bear* *(an american cryptid, a myth created by landowners)

Normal non-USians: Chill, we’re just taking photos. That’s just a normal bear. Terrible Bears don’t exist

Kevin Costner: NOooo, the Terrible bear wants to eat you, it can smell you’re working class. I’m safe. By the way I own all the land and I’m a special fancy boy. The special fences show that I own the land

Normal people: 我不相信. 滚

Kevin Costner: shoots his pew pew guns and yells incomprehensible anglo grunts

Bear:

vote for Harris now

nowhere did she imply that

damn, everyone has beautiful flowing hair, buckskin bootcuts, bare chests and tiny vests, medallions and arm rings. how many kilos of prog rock and weed was this fertilized with? nice

a golfing santa claus for a joker? that’s the most that ever happened

MikeLaoShi

fucking westerners that go to china and get a nice ass high paid teaching job despite having no qualifications besides being a and then have the nerve to whine about how not everything in china is the same as back home and le seeseepee is le evil authoritarian, despite having just witnessed the effects of the fastest increase in living standards and economic growth on earth

shut up and enjoy the privilege of being paid 25K/month for waving flashcards at kids and playing songs off a usb stick, or go home to kkkrakkkerstan

me when I get back from you and I don’t want you can use it to me for you and your bottle is good to see if it was too much to be done in a sauce or a little bit and then separate the water from my head that is the same way I have had to be in my wife but we didn’t know butcher I had a creamy and not a big fan but it was a bit longer and it looks pretty good

edit: is this lewd

other chinese tofu products:

fresh soft tofu 豆花 “bean flower"

fermented tofu seasoning 腐乳 “milk of corruption”

tofu skin stick (yuba stick) 腐竹 “bamboo of corruption”

translator’s note: translations not to scale. do not use these translations for translative purposes

lady liberty’s diet is so devoid of fiber and nutrients that she has a pennsylvania lodged in her colon. will she please stop this carnivore diet bullshit?