1Ā·
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Cake day: July 5th, 2023
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Bet dude is lying part2. You need SO input especially when money is tight. Spontaneous people are not good to keep close if you donāt have means to deal with it.
Relevant Comments
Smart-Story-2142: Have you seen proof that what heās saying is true? I honestly donāt buy it. My guess is he spent it on himself. Heās a liar and I will never trust a word that a liar says without 100 % proof.
** Melodic-Witness102:** This,
Iām confident this is a lie I would respond with a bluff, youāre right will be family and I save for vacation, so give me the reservation number Iāll pay the stay you pay for food, fun and drinks
OOP: Honestly I donāt think I believe the whole honeymoon thing much. I just want this to be done at this point, but thatās not a bad idea to get the truth from him. At this point though I might just let things be as they are and get out of the relationship. Iām not sure if this is worth it anymore and Iām just so tired
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs ā BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
Stay away from borders and people thay enable them. It can get toxic on so many levels.
My Kent Ridgeland Bike June 13, 2024
OOP shows 2 pitures of his bike
Just thought since I posted pics of some of my Skeleton Key collection a while back, Iād do the same with my bike.
Update to key stealing MIL saga. My STBEXW got in contact with my mother that I went NC from a long time ago. June 16, 2024
To clarify since some people didnāt know previously, this stuff all happened months ago. Which is why I made three posts so quickly.
After the social media incident, STBEXW tried one last desperate measure to get back at me, Which was to track down my mother that I was NC with. She probably found her through face book, because I know my mother has an active page there. My STBEXW knew exactly why Iām NC with this woman. I told her for years the things my narcissist mother did to me. But she went to see her anyway. Either she was looking for a replacement maternal figure, or she just did it entirely to spite me. Or maybe even both. Either way we all know sheās petty AF.
Despite being years NC, my mother wasnāt far away. I never really moved far from where I was raised. And my STBEXW fed my mother a very embellished sob story. I got a call from a number I didnāt recognize, and it turned out to be my mother. First words out of her mouth were āHOW COULD YOU!!ā. She wouldnāt even give me time to speak by just saying āI DONāT WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSESā. Then she went on a rant about the lies STBEXW told her. I just ended the call about half-way through said rant, and then blocked the number. I remember thinking to myself at the time āJust great! The two people I hate most in this world are now banding together!ā
STBEXW also figured out where I live. I donāt know how. But it doesnāt really matter anymore. What did matter was she showed up WITH MY GOD DAMN MOTHER! This woman was just as bad as I remembered her, except now she has bleach blonde hair. She still dressed as if in denial about her age, and was still judgmental and narcissistic. But the moment she started yelling at me, I snapped and lost it on her and STBEXW. I started ranting about all the stuff STBEXW and her mother had put me through, and how I wasnāt surprised that my own crazy mother would side with a toxic liar like her without even questioning what my half of the story was. I ended up ranting about a whole lot of the stuff that happened. And for once, my mother looked damn scared of me, and didnāt even try to counter.
I donāt know how long I was ranting at them. It was just wordvomit and yellsplaining to the point I almost mentally checked out while my mouth did the work. But I told my mother all about the things my STBEXW and MIL did to me. About the theft of my collection, about MILās hoarding and the condition of her house, about how she and STBEXW trapped me in a fake marriage, how STBEXW admitted to trying to babytrap me, and then bringing my own mother over to try and stick it to me. I looked over at STBEXW and said if her big plan was thinking my mother had any power over me, she was even dumber than I thought. And yeah, I ranted about how STBEXW thought my skeleton key collection was worthless. And exactly how and why it wasnāt.
Police eventually showed up because a neighbor had called them. I had a CCTV camera going inside my apartment watching the door. And it saw enough. So there was video proof I never laid a finger on either of them at least. The police broke things up and escorted STBEXW and mother away. The cops thought I was the bad guy at first. A grown man yelling at two cowering women didnāt exactly look good. But they took the time to listen to me, and I showed them the camera footage. My mother looked downright scared of the cops, and didnāt even want to talk to them. And STBEXW knew exactly what Iād do if she lied to them. So they fessed up as to why they were there. But claimed that giving me a talking to was all theyād intended to do. Riiiiight. And Zeus didnāt throw lightning. Oh wait, he did! Who knows what those two would have tried, were it not for the police and my temper.
No one was arrested. But I made it clear I didnāt want my mother or STBEXW coming back. Right after they left, I went to the police station and filled out a report on the incident for a paper trail, in case of future stalking. Even though one of the officers tried to tell me that was too much for the situation when all they did was show up at my door. They also seemed to take offence to my making a report against my mother and STBEXW. I told him that he didnāt know those people, and they were relentless narcissists. After making the report, I called up my best friend and told him what happened. He asked if I wanted to go riding to clear my head. And I said yes. And we went out bike riding till our legs were numb.
The next day I texted my mother from the number sheād called me from, and explained some things in detail. And I even sent screenshots of proof I had on some things. I made sure to do all this in text for two reasons. 1: So I wouldnāt have to actually hear her voice. And 2: because I could screenshot all the texts and give them to my lawyer for my divorce case against STBEXW. My mother said STBEXW told her a very different story that I had been abusive in various ways. I told my mother she was free to have a relationship with STBEXW. But I wanted nothing to do with either of them. And Iāll call the police if either of them show up at my apartment, or any future one I may be living in ever again. She did not message me back for several days. I also sent messages about what happened to other relatives and asked they be passed around just in case STBEXW went crying to them too. Which I guess she was smart enough not to bother doing, because none of them heard a peep from her.
STBEXW ended up having a huge fight with my mother, in which my mother kicked her out. My mother finally texted me back and said she wasnāt willing to risk staying on STBEXWās side when it meant being dragged into the crossfire. Then she gave me a short sort-of-apology. Which I accepted as good enough, because getting my mother to apologize for anything is like pulling teeth. I stated I still donāt want a relationship with her because I know she still defends the way she raised me. She told me she understands, and then said to have a nice life somewhat passive-aggressively. Then I re-blocked the number.
STBEXW has not yet retained a lawyer for our divorce, then or now. Iām pretty sure she realizes she canāt win with all of the evidence I have against her. Every dumb thing she did gave my lawyer more ammunition to work with. She hasnāt been fighting back much at all. Not that thereās anything to fight over. Our formerly shared bank account and rented house were our only joint assets. But I took my name off the account, and we both moved out of the house. My credit is locked down, I have cameras, and Iām taking no BS from her. I think she may be scared of me now. Not long before I started posting again, sheād moved out of the state too. She apparently got a job transfer, and notified my lawyer she was leaving, and where she was going. But sheāll be back whenever she needs to appear in court. So unless something else crazy happens, I wonāt be needing to update again until after the divorce.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOPās OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
Update to key stealing MIL saga. My STBEXW tried to defame me. Backfired badly June 13, 2024
To the people here who kept telling me not to divorce, that my wife loved me, etc. Yāall couldnāt have been more wrong. I couldnāt even tell who amongst you were trolls, or just naive fools. Some even brought religion into it. I could care less about someoneās religious views on divorce. They are not me. They are not living my life. I remember an old example of a rich man saying he knows how hard it is to pay for gas when he drives a million dollar car. He canāt know the struggle of paying for gas when he has enough wealth to buy an obscenely expensive automobile. In the same way someone canāt claim to know whether or not my STBEXW loved me just because. They didnāt live with her or MIL. They did not suffer at their hands. So they donāt have valid reasons so say they knew better.
I also apologize for the length of this post. But thereās a lot to say.
Edit: Just wanted to make sure everyone reading knows this all happened months ago. I did that a break from Reddit for some time.
My STBEXW pretty much admitted to my face that she only married me for the financial security. So yeah, I was exactly right. She spent years grooming me so she could trap me in marriage and walk all over me. And yes, she did have plans to babytrap me as well after I initiated divorce. Iāve confirmed this. But she dropped any act of wanting to save the marriage after her mother died.
In my last post, I told how I reported my MILās hoarding, and her house was inspected and scheduled to be condemned. She demanded my STBEXW pay for the house to be fixed. But when STBEXW said she couldnāt pay, her mother went ape on her and then died from a heart attack soon after. She had a congenital heart condition I was completely unaware of till after she had kicked the bucket. I was told for years she was on disability only for mental problems. But she actually had a weak heart. Her potentially being removed from the only home sheād lived in for decades put her stress over the edge, and her heart gave out when she attacked her own daughter for being unable to fund her home restoration. Yes I do still feel guilty about what happened. But itās in the past now.
MILās house was torn down. Not sure when. But about a week before making my previous post, I drove over to where her house was, and thereās nothing but an empty lot now. The house was likely declared a biohazard or something. Not sure if my STBEXW owns the property now, or if it was sold. I donāt know. I canāt imagine my STBEXW inherited much of anything good from her motherās hoarder den. That house was so bad, Iād even seen a rat scurry by across the top of the hoard once.
Many past commenters were exactly right about my STBEXW was likely aiming at trying to babytrap me with her love-bombing behavior. A few days after sheād left to the motel when her mother died, I went into the bathroom she tore up to clean it. Sheād left it in quite bit of a state the day she left by having a meltdown in there. But thankfully nothing but her personal items were broken. She did splatter shampoo all over the walls though.
While cleaning I looked in the waste basket and noticed a bottle of pills with āFertility Supportā written on the label. When I removed the cap from the bottle, the paper seal had been torn out. I googled this stuff, and it was a common female fertility vitamin that anyone could buy online or in store, not prescription. I confronted my STBEXW when she came to get some more of her stuff. She admitted that sheād hoped to get pregnant so I wouldnāt divorce her. But that was before her mother died. After that she said sheād never want to touch me again. And she scoffed when I said Iād felt that way towards her for a while before she did me. I never found out if my ex put anything in the food or open beer sheād tried to serve me though. I searched the house top to bottom for anything else that might have been a clue, and came up with nothing. So she may have just wanted to get me drunk. I canāt express enough though how glad I am that I didnāt have a child with this woman.
I wasnāt allowed to MILās funeral. Though I didnāt really want to go, my STBEXW specifically told me she didnāt want me there. And I responded that I understood why. But then later STBEXW posted online that she was furious barely anyone from her family showed up. Not even her father came. And then she lied by saying I was invited, but refused to come. Which was blatantly false. And I had screenshots of our texts proving it.
When my STBEXW left the house after her mother died, she went back to the motel for an extended stay while she moved her stuff out bit by bit. Either to storage, or a friendās place. I donāt know since I didnāt help. I heard from friends she eventually found a studio apartment. But hated living in such a small space after previously having a house. She was also seen looking miserable at the local laundromat. Our former landlord agreed to keep the extra furniture neither of us could take, as his new incoming renters were happy to use them. A lot of you thought she would. But my STBEXW did not try to sabotage the house in any way other than her bathroom tantrum. But she stubbornly refused to help pay for a cleaning service. She made it more than obvious she was doing that to spite me. So rather than wasting time fighting with her about it, I hired a cleaning crew myself. They and I left that house spotless. And I got back my half of the security deposit without issue.
I did later buy a used Kent Ridgeland bike, and started riding again. The bike had a replacement seat, but is otherwise bone stock original. I only a ride little at a time these days. Currently once or twice a week at most. I just donāt have the passion for it I used to. But I do enjoy my short cruises around town. And while I could commute to work on the bike, the surprising amount of warnings I got from people here telling me thatās a bad idea made me reconsider doing it. Didnāt help that I found out that some friend of a friend got hit by a car while on his bike a couple of months ago. So Iām just hobby riding instead of commuting. My best friend joins me sometimes too. Heās got a red Mongoose MTB he dusted off. It needed tires, so I put some on for him and gave the bike a tune-up. And then we took to the bike paths. His bike has gears, but is also much heavier. Mineās a single speed but fairly nimble. So it kinda evens out.
After her motherās funeral, my STBEXW went into full hate-mode. She started badmouthing me on her social media, and told multiple lies about me because she saw me as responsible for what happened to her mother. She claimed I was physically, emotionally, and financially abusive. Which I was not. If anything, she was all that to me. She also played off the value of my skeleton key collection, which she still claimed was worthless. However there was already a fair amount of word spread around through my friends and former mutual friends about what really happened. And they commented on her posts about it to the point she took them down. But I still got messages from angry flying monkeys. The most common thing them saying was that I ended a sick old womanās life over keys. I told them all my side of what happened, and pointed out I had plenty of evidence. Including being told I wasnāt invited to the funeral, and showing screenshots of the texts. I was sorry MIL died. But I couldnāt have foreseen sheād have a heart attack. And her house was so bad, it was completely unlivable. A select few apologized, most just stopped talking, and a good few persistently called me a liar. So I had to block them.
I ended up contacting my STBEXW to tell her that Iād file a defamation lawsuit on top of the divorce if she didnāt stop making posts about me. Which likely wouldnāt bode well for her career. Iād already screen-shotted everything I needed from her profile before she deleted the posts. Well she tried to say I was blackmailing her. But she stopped. Then she played the whole situation off as just being angry in the moment. But her lying was still called out, and she lost all her credibility. She soon shut down her social media entirely, and called me afterward to blame me for it. Then she mocked me and said she was glad I was divorcing her. She told me Iād never satisfied her in bed because I was too vanilla. And she wished she could have gone back to her ex-boyfriend. That one actually stung a bit.
To clarify though. My STBEXW never cheated on me. Many people figured she did, including my friends. But no. She just spent a lot of time with her mother. Iāve also spoken to the man who dated her before me. Some of my STBEXWās former friends still were in touch with him, and gave me his number. He told me dumped her because she and her mother treated him the same way they treated me after I married my STBEXW. Which means their playing nice for three years was one hell of a calculated move. I also learned from the guy that heād found out the guy who dated my STBEXW before him also dumped her for the same reasons. And he was her high school sweetheart.
Iām afraid thereās still more to this, and will make another post soon. I will say though that the divorce is underway, and not going in STBEXWās favor.
TLDR: I confirmed my STBEXWās scheming to try and babytrap me because I filed for divorce. She also persistently lied about me to others and tried to defame me until it all came crashing down, and now her social media is deleted. I am cycling again. Which has been fun.
My STBEXW ended up going crazy in the bathroom sheād been using since we started sleeping separately. She asked the police officer for a moment to herself, then just went crazy after shutting the door. She came out a few minutes later looking angry, but calm. Then told me I was cleaning that mess up. She packed her bags again, and left the house for the motel once more, and told me she wouldnāt be coming back unless it was to get her stuff.
I was so guilt ridden that I was hardly able to function for days back then, and had to take leave from work because of stress migraines. I basically spent three days on the couch hopped up on meds. But after that I got my ass in gear again. My friends all tell me it wasnāt not my fault. I didnāt know, and MIL was crazy. Either way whatās done is done. And I have to live with it. Sadly thereās more that happened, which Iāll be telling in another post.
F forgiveness (fake Christians like AP sure are big on forgiveness bible verse when they want it - but will never give it). Fight him in court, but if you have to pay him alimony, it will be the best money youāll ever spend even though it may be irksome (it was for me)
This just sucks and is really quite unbelievable. Sorry that your husband has brought you here. Good luck.
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Flynn_JM:
What was her explanation? Is she planning on paying it back?
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OOP:
Yes she is planning to pay it back. Explanation is that she had series of money issues including car trouble & medical bills. Even if theyāre not lying about the ā friendship āā I am beyond pissed at being lied to by husband straight up lies about a side hustle & aquarium.
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Flynn_JM:
Why is she asking your husband for it if they worked together years ago? Were you aware they were still in contact?
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OOP:
Thatās def part of what makes me angry . They were in contact and he admits that whenever she calls he goes outside to smoke. Thatās why I didnāt know they were in contact/ itās also sketchy as hell.
She lives in a whole other state since 3yrs ago. But st this point I donāt trust anything they say.
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Flynn_JM:
Have you seen there messages at all? Are they flirty?
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OOP:
Husband always deletes texts. All texts . So I wasnāt able to see many texts butā¦husband wanted to visit her exact town a few months ago on a boys trip. ( w/ out me) I told him no because he was acting so wierd about it. ā I told him I think youāre lying about something. ā I didnāt know anything about the girl at the timeā¦ but Iām putting pieces together and my gut just knew.
ā
Editorās Note: I am marking this as ongoing as OOP has said she wants a divorce, but hasnāt left/kicked out/confronted her husband yet.
ā
Reminder: I am not OOP. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. No Brigading! See rule 7. ā
Damn donāt even try to play it off with a straight joke just right into slurs.
Side note anyone know a straight joke?
This is by far the best work safety video I have ever seen.
But it kill bird and makes whales gay! Coal is only carbon with is in diamond which is something you buy loved ones.
I dk I was trying think what trump would say and it hurt my head.
āStop breaking the lawā - Jim Carrey
Dude needs a vasectomy and to spend the rest of his life making it up to all the woman his dumbass got involved with. His children will never forgive him for this level of pathetic.
New Update Post: December 19, 2023
Okay so I made the original post about 2 months ago and since then things have been a bit crazy lately, so I just wanted to update as I had people asking if George was okay.
In my first post people suggested I give George some space and time to figure things out as a recently divorced father but after he ran off around two months ago I ended up filing a missing persons report. I talked to Georgeās workplace the day after I filed the report and they told me he had given his two weeks about a month ago.
I then tried calling George again and he finally picked up. He told me he was okay but he had moved states and no longer wanted any contact with his children because it was all too much responsibility for him. I snapped at George and told him he couldnāt just decide now he didnāt want to be a father. Then George told me he never wanted kids in the first place and āthose kids donāt look anything like me anywayā. George then told me to F off and hung up the call.
After that I informed the police department what had happened to let them know George wasnāt in any danger and that we knew his whereabouts. After that happened I just cried because I couldnāt believe I had raised such a selfish person.
Susanna has filed for full custody and George as far as I know is refusing to pay child support and will probably end up in jail at some point. Bethany is now 4 months pregnant and is having a boy, and George is the father. Somehow he managed to come up with the $500 so he will have to pay child support since he doesnāt plan on being in the babyās life.
Bethany moved into my home in November since sheās had trouble doing things herself and her doctor says sheās at risk of pre-eclampsia if she becomes too stressed during the pregnancy. In that time we have gotten closer and despite how our first meeting went I actually have come to like Bethany.
Sorry this isnāt the happy ending some of you were expecting, I have been following the advice I received from the first post and have not contacted George and he has not tried to contact me. I can only hope with time he pulls himself together and manages to step up as a father. Again thank you to everyone who gave helpful advice , Iām not sure if I will be updating further however.
Relevant Comments:
I guess we can only hope George steps up. Iām sorry:
Thank you. Itās been hard for our family to cope with George being so irresponsible and I have been in and out of the hospital for the past two weeks due to the stress of the whole situation.
I hope George steps up, though he hasnāt even sent Christmas gifts for his children.
Definitely worth looking into therapy for yourself and family:
My husband and I are looking into funding some family therapy and individual therapy for the twins but weāre waiting to see if our health insurance will cover it.
Why does Bethany want to keep this pregnancy?
Bethany is convinced that George will change his mind once the baby is born which I have tried to tell her probably wonāt be the case, but Bethany is convinced he will and no one can tell her otherwise.
*****Update Post: June 12, 2024 (6 months later, almost 8 from OG post)*****
Hi reddit itās been over 6 months since my last update after I completely forgot about this account. Much has happened in that amount of time so as requested here is the update.
Well first of all Gabrielle is now married to her amazing fiancĆ© and I couldnāt be more proud. The wedding was a small family affair at his parents farm. George did not attend the wedding but it was a beautiful ceremony all the same.
Bethany has given birth to a healthy baby boy and has found an apartment and a new job. I am so proud of her for how well she is coping with everything.
As suggested in my last post we did get the twins therapy and it has helped them heal through out this whole process. After George took off and abandoned his children our whole family needed time to heal and recover from the hurt and trauma.
As for George, thatās a messy situation. Roughly 4 months ago George was found to be in possession of illegal substances and was arrested.
When George first called me from the county jail I thought he was trying to get money out of my husband and I, however it just got worse and worse. He asked me to pay for a lawyer and I explained that because of his actions I couldnāt afford to help him and that I couldnāt trust him.
George just sobbed and started apologizing for all he had done. I told him it was his kids he should be apologizing to, he kept sobbing and then told me there was another woman pregnant with his child. At first I didnāt believe him but then he gave details and I looked her up on Facebook - there was a picture of them as the profile picture. I hung up on him, disgusted yet still feeling somewhat responsible for what he has become.
It was a few days later that we heard from George again and he told us his trial was in 2 months. He sounded so scared but part of me thought this was what he needed to learn consequences, though I felt disgusted at my thoughts since heās still my son who I raised.
My husband and I decided to attend the trial, even though it was in the next state. We felt we had to for our son and peace of mind. I told Susanna and Bethany and they were bewildered, declining to attend.
At the trial, George was found guilty of all counts including criminal damage, robbery, and failure to pay child support - the judge gave him 6 years with no plea deal due to evidence. I didnāt know how to feel - my grandkids wonāt see their dad for 6 years.
Itās been 4 months and Iām still confused. George calls daily, crying, apologizing, begging us to get him out and to speak to his kids which Iāve declined since Susanna hasnāt given permission. Bethany decided no contact with him or her son. I havenāt reached out to his other girlfriend either, so unsure how to feel.
This was depressing but Iām glad I updated. Thank you for reading, this is probably my last post. I hope we can recover and heal from this.
Relevant Comment:
Commenter: As a Mom, although we raise them, we are not responsible for their actions as adultsā¦ We may be part of why certain emotional or mental tendencies exist - but they are the ones that make the choices about what they are going to do in their lives, and what repercussions they will be responsible for.
I just read through all 3 of your posts, and please stop beating yourself up. He needs to face the reality of the mess HE created, all on his own (okay so the women who slept with him without protection have a hand in the baby creation, the rest of it (including the jail time) is all the result of choices and actions that ONLY he owns).
OOP: I really needed to hear that. Itās just that when your son becomes a felon people tend to blame their upbringing. I canāt help but think what I could have done differently.
Well f$@! He screwed everyone equally didnāt he. 50k is alot of money. Thatās like a year salary for some people. It would have been better if he ask for money directly but nooo to proud better steal it. Those kind of people see kids as tools for themselves rather than help thier kids be successful. POS.
----NEW UPDATE---- Update #2: May 7, 2024 (6 months later)
Itās been 6 months since I posted on this and just wanna give you guys an update. Rina and I finally had our beautiful church wedding last month. It was a sunny and warm day, she just looked stunning and it was better than anything we both ever imagined. Our families helped a lot in the wedding preparations and as I mentioned in the previous post, my wife did move out to live with her parents until we got married in church. We made sure to talk thoroughly about how we felt and if this was what she really wanted. We met every week and talked every night until the day we finally got married in church.
Mid February, there were talks and doubts about the relationship and if our expectations of marriage aligned and whether it was best to hold off on the wedding to see if we were indeed compatible and if our courthouse wedding was merely an āobligationā we had to fullfil for her nan before passing. It was a difficult month for us, we talked about her fears and she explains it was just that she has had this belief in her mind about keeping herself pure in her big day and it was purely hers alone and not her family or anybody else.
We did go through marriage counseling to help more in dealing with our situation. During this time, I moved to a larger place and found a better paying job and got busy. She started working from home and accompanied her brother who move to Japan to help him get settled, she was there for about 2 weeks and actually had a nice break. We both had a lot of time and it helped strengthen our relationship to be honest and to realize how much we really wanted to be with each other.
We just got back from our 2-week honeymoon to the number 2 in our bucket list- New Zealand! We originally planned to go to Spain but we decided to change itineraries since we plan to travel to Europe in the future so Spain could wait. It was a wonderful but very exhausting and costly trip but so worth it. We drove in a camper van and stayed at campgrounds every night under the stars. Hiked a lot and basically just spent time together enjoying nature. And yes, for everyone waiting for an update, we had our first intimate moment there. The first time was pretty uncomfortable for her (we were also in a van so not the most pleasant place) and she still has this thing where she canāt stop overthinking every time we are doing it haha. We are getting better at it though and have actually slowly learned each otherās wants and dislikes. She actually initiates it from time to time and it made me happy but also relieved that she has urges to do it and letting me know.
Her family moved her stuff to my new place while we were on vacation so it was a relief not to have to move stuff again after a long exhausting trip and just be able to rest after coming home. Jet lag is still really bad but just thought of writing this now while my wife is sleeping next to me. We are both scared for the future as newlyweds but also excited for our little family. Rina and I hope to have kids in the near future but for now, we have decided on becoming fur parents first and looking into shelters once we are fully settled.
She has also read the post I wrote before just recently and found the comment about having sex and skydiving to be hilarious and she is quite ācuriousā about us doing it lol. If that does happen, thatās a whole post by itself!
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs ā BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
Bad friend poisoning people that are already poisoned. Home kids are alright.
Relevant Comments
misterk2020: Absolutely do not take back the papers. Your marriage is over and she killed it. She needs to take accountability for what she did and you are trying to ket her off the hook. IMO I would advise your lawyer whatās going on and listen and follow the advice given. You should be filing for full custody IMO. You can always loosen restrictions later.
OOP: Yeah, after I served her the papers I got in contact with him again and have been telling him everything that has been happening. He has every text screenshot Iāve collected so far and Iām filling him in on any updates. I appreciate the advice still
tropicsandcaffeine: Be careful of her family contacting your kids. They may try to poison their minds against you.
OOP: Neither of my children have accounts on messaging apps. My son has an old phone of mine that isnāt acitvated. Itās just a tiktok machine at this point, and my daughter only has access to a tablet for an hour or two after school, and similarly has no messaging apps on it. The only way theyād be able to contact them is by coming here, or stopping by the school, but Iāve also contacted the school admins and let them know that Iām to be the only ones picking them up. When their mom first left the house I had to enroll them in a before and after school program as I canāt come pick them up right when school is let out, and the ladies that run it have been made aware as well. Iām doing everything I can think of to protect my kids.
OOP on speaking with his lawyer about the possibility of having temporary/emergency order to keep his children safe from their mother
OOP: I brought it up to my lawyer, and Iām still considering it, but he said itās not likely to be granted, and we donāt have anything to prove sheās a threat to the children. Her threats of making my life hell were never recorded so I canāt prove she said it, and she hasnāt said it since I started recording, plus itās been her friends and we canāt put that on her without proof sheās telling them to do it.
Iāve taken the precautions I need to. Iāve contacted the school and told them that Iām the only one allowed to pull them out of class, no matter what. Also the before and after school program I put them in when I removed my wife from our home has been told that Iām the only one thatās allowed to pick them up.
Trust me, if I get her on tape threatening me, I will push for a protective order.
OOP responds to the question if his wifeās parents are aware of the situation
OOP: Well, her parents have actually been relatively civil about it. They obviously were upset when they first heard but I explained it to them and they understand. Theyāve been checking in on the kids and have asked if they need anything. Itās really the rest of her family doing it, and I just donāt have the energy to argue with that many people so Iāve just been blocking them after getting my screenshots.
OOP was asked if his children are not likely to be his and the possibility that his wife has cheated on him
OOP: The kids are definitely mine. Both of them at 2 years old looked exactly like I do in pictures of me at that age. I have no question about that. And I have gotten and STI check and Iām clean. I donāt suspect this cheating was a long time thing. Sheās acting too ashamed of it for it to have been something sheās been doing for years. I think she was just drunk and high, and gave in to her moronic friendās idea to get back at me for kicking her out.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs ā BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
OOPās thoughts on if his wife resents their son so much after his love for cooking started
OOP: Thatās whatās really been sticking with me the most. I donāt understand why sheās been acting this way. Sheās always had a very strong maternal instinct, didnāt go through PPD with either of our children, which was surprising to me because both of our mothers went through it with all of their children, not that itās genetic or anything, but I was just expecting it from experience. I hate to sound misogynistic but Iāve considered that it could be the beginnings of Menopause, even though sheās still young.
The biggest thing thatās been on my mind is if itās something I did. I added the little spiel at the beginning about always complimenting her because itās something Iāve been thinking about nonstop. I never pressured her into being a SAHM, we fully planned on having her go back to work after my son was born, but she changed her mind almost immediately after she gave birth. I do my fair share of the chores around the house, I always wash the dishes, take care of the lawn, we both clean up around the house. I never hold it against her that she doesnāt work, or withhold money from her. I felt awful after I said to her that sheās using MY money to punish our son because It just felt like I was being unfair. Iād almost prefer if it WAS something i did, so that I could just blame it on myself instead of having to accept that my wife is capable of doing this kind of thing on her own.
Update: June 13, 2024
Obligatory, but genuine, Thank you for all of the support, even the comments that got a bit nasty. That kind of pushback helped me to see that things were a lot worse than I realized. Some of you could do with being a bit nicer, but the advice is appreciated all the same.
Short recap: My Wife and Son cooked dinner together most nights for about a year. My son wanted to try cooking dinner on his own, which my wife accepted, but started acting funny. She ended up rudely criticizing his meal, then the next day she told him that she would do the cooking on her own from then on, and after I confronted her about this, she started neglecting/emotionally abusing him while shoveling positivity onto our daughter.
The first thing I did after making my previous post was take my son to my parentsā house to tell them what was happening from his mouth. I figured they may be more receptive to seeing the pain their grandson was going through and not just write it off like they had with me. They ended up understanding, and supportive of my next move, which was kicking my wife out till she worked through whatever problem she was going through.
Next I went to a lawyer and consulted with him. He told me it would be best to have the papers ready to go, even if I wasnāt sure I wanted the divorce yet because itās better to get it done as quick as possible if I decided to go through with it because in Canada you have to either have to separate for a year, or prove abuse or adultery.
I took the kids to my folksā house the next Saturday and came back with my mother. I let her talk with my wife first, then when they were done I told her that I needed her to leave the house until she sorted out whatever was causing her to act this way to our son. She, surprisingly, agreed to this. Iām guessing hearing things from my mother knocked some sense into her, as they were always quite close. I told her that my parents were willing to let her stay there during the time because her parents lived too far away, or I could put her up in a nearby motel. I would also pay for her to see a therapist every week, which I told her was mandatory for fixing things.
Our kids spent the night with my parents and we moved her out the next day, We both sat with the kids and told them what was happening. Our son understood, but our daughter didnāt and was quite upset, but eventually we calmed her down. Things went well for the first month or so. She went to all of the weekly appointments, and I met her for dinner a few nights a week with the kids and she seemed to be treating our son properly again. I was really hopeful that she had been making progress.
Then the Friday after her fifth therapy appointment she sent me a wall of text messages about how I was an asshole, and I was trying to steal her children from her, and how I was probably fucking someone on the side. I tried calling her to see what she was talking about but I think she shut her phone off. I called my mother and she told me that my wife had left the house earlier that day with all of her stuff without saying anything to my mom.
Iām not 100% sure what happened next, since my wife has refuses to tell me most details, and I canāt get in contact with the friends she was with. The best I can piece together was that she had told her best friend about what was happening, and that friend started telling her all about how I was just trying to kick her out and steal her kids. She then moved in with her friend, and went on a week long bender of clubbing and drinking and drugs. When we were younger we did our fair share of stupid shit together, so while this was surprising, it was most likely her dumbass friends convincing her to relive the good old days.
I hadnāt heard anything for about a week, then I got a text from her friend, telling me I was a loser, that my wife was too good for me, and that she was fucking a younger guy. I tried to demand she give my wife the phone so I could talk with her, but I never got a reply. I screenshotted the texts for evidence if I needed it.
I ended up getting a call from the hospital at like 3 in the morning that sunday. My wife had overdosed on something, and was dropped off at the ER by someone who didnāt stick around. Since I was her emergency contact, They reached out to me. I called my mom to come watch the kids and headed over there. They managed to get her stabilized, and were treating her. I stuck around for a few hours and she was in and out of consciousness, and when she was she wasnāt very talkative. When she properly woke up, she started apologizing for everything, and thatās when I found out the few details I know, about her friend and the bender. I asked her if she had been fucking someone else like her friend said, and she didnāt reply, which was as much of an answer as I needed. She kept trying to apologize and I just kept my cool and told her this wasnāt the time or place for this.
We ended up leaving at about 8 AM the next day. I got her back to my parentās place, got her into bed, and just before I left, I put the papers on the table beside the bed and told her that I expected her to sign them within a week and that I had proof she cheated on me during her bender. I had told my parents I was planning on doing this on the phone, so I wasnāt just dumping this drama on them without warning. The kids are both doing fine. They donāt know anything of what happened with their mother or the divorce, all they know is that my wife is still moved out, and that sheās busy getting better so weāre not gonna be seeing her as much. Iāll probably tell them in a couple weeks whenever school lets out for the summer so it doesnāt affect their learning.
Over the next couple weeks Iāve gotten countless calls from her, ranging from begging for a second chance, to screaming at me that she hated me and was going to make my life hell, going back and forth every other day. Iāve also been getting vitriolic texts from her family and friends calling my all sorts of names and threatening me that if I donāt drop the divorce Iāll regret it, All of which have been screenshotted. My parents agree that divorce is for the best, but theyāre questioning my timing, and wondering if I shouldnāt have picked a better time to do this than when she was fresh out of the hospital.
Iām 100% sure I want her out of my life, and I plan on going for full custody of my children as I donāt want them around my wife if this behavior is what sheās willing to stoop to. And while I do want it done as soon as possible, Iām wondering if I should take back the papers and tell her Iāve changed my mind, at least until sheās a bit more stable?
ETA: I saw comments suggesting I take my kids to therapy to explain the situation to them. I have a session set up with a therapist in a week, just wanted to wait a tiny bit longer for their school to be as finished as possible. I forgot to include it when I first typed everything out.
Ok maybe perfume is innocent. He could legitimately like the scent but scents are finicky on people. I canāt wear my SO deodorant cause in my opinion it smells terrible on me but I donāt notice how bad it smells on other people. Something wife could try and he goes nope nevermind. Everything else is on him.
Lol wonder if thatās one of my fathers random children. My father has cancer and Iām waiting for it to end him. He wonāt get sympathy from me when he wonāt try to save himself. I literally think what what dad do and do the opposite. No point in a relationship with someone that canāt provide financial or emotional support and never learns or listens. Cut out whatās useless from your life.
