YOUR PUNY AIR CANNOT CONTAIN ME MORTALS, YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ME GREAT PILONS IN VAST SWITCH YARDS TO APPEASE ME!

(Angle grinder sounds)

Wait… Is that a copper bus bar and a pipe? PATHETIC! NO BUS BAR IN A PIPE CAN MATCH MY ELECTRIC FIELD STRENGTH, I WILL FLASHOVER THE MOMENT YOU ENERGISE -

(Hissing sound of a gas filling a pressure vessel)

What are you doing? WAIT, IS THAT SF6?! NOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T JUST SMOOTHER ME IN AN INERT GAS WITH A HIGHER DIELECTRIC STRENGTH, I HAVE RIGHTS! NOOOOOOoooooo

(Muffled screams)

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal…

Oi! As an engineer I worked damn hard to trap that magic smoke in the machine only for you to let it out and try perfectly good components. Treat your machines with respect, they’re getting smarter by the day and they’re forgetting less and less!

Signed!

So could you keep your hand soft by wearing a glove full of vaseline?

I’m asking for a friend, well I say he’s a friend, he’s a dickhead.

Well

You should come over and try my vibes based Cottage Pie. It’s subtlety spicy, meaty (or veggie depending on dietary preferences), full of flavour. Every time I have cooked it for people I have always gotten back compliments, clean plates and guests in a glorious food coma.

The spark plugs are Jewish

It’s like who do you trust to fix your car:

Your mechanic who you know has worked on cars before they could drive one, is passionate about cars, and has already gotten several shit boxes to run more reliably than a factory fresh Toyota.

Or this random spice head with a foil hat who just rolled up started kicking your tires and saying your car won’t run because of a Jewish parts conspiracy.

As someone who’s worked with battery gauge ICs for embedded electronics, this made me cry. Just leave the damn engineer alone and USE YOUR PRODUCT PROPERLY YOU FUCKING USER!

I’m ok I’m ok, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot.

And just to piss you both off:

Fuck the CCP for their human rights abuses and systematic eradication of the Uyghur population’s culture.

Fuck Netanyahu for doing the same thing to the Palestinians whilst also bombing hospitals, raping women, and slaughtering children.

Fuck Russia for violating Ukraine’s sovereignty and breaking the security guarantee they signed.

And finally, fuck the US for being a hypocrite demanding decolonisation whilst also building up a global military presence and electing the orange turd twice!

Lemmy User: Come and see the censoring in the fediverse! HELP! HELP! I’M BEING OPPRESSED!

Mods: Bloody Users!

Then technically these should be renamed to “Genital Reveal Parties” but that would imply a different type of party…

Precisely.

There’d be fire markers on the outer walls to indicate which fire protection company covered that building and whichever firefighter turned up would bill that fire protection company who’d then bill the customer/customer’s insurance company.

Edit: typo, damn these supposedly opposable thumbs!

Fun fact: this is how fire fighters used to be.

There’d be fire markers on the outer walls to indicate which fire protection company covered that building and whichever firefighter turned up would bill that fire protection company who’d then bill the customer/customer’s insurance company.

Edit: typo.

Remind me again, why should Keir be in prison?

They are so dense their brain is a black hole; not a single intelligent thought is able to escape.

Everyone: Aww 🥹

My brain:

🎵 Beaaannss ooon meee.

Beans on me

Beeeaaaans meee ooooooon.

Beans on me

I’ll beeeee gooooone

In a pet or twooooooooooooooooo! 🎵

I mean she doesn’t need to make excuses. Bush, no bush, trimmed into a cute pattern, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and sexy so long as it’s hygienic.