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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • no one is demanding you

    In that case my previous comment is irrelevant and off-topic. It was a misinterpretation of your comment on my end.

    In my original comment I did say that I don’t have a problem with people that do tell me their pronouns, even if I do think that’s a bit stupid and weird (we will have to agree to disagree on this one I’m afraid). This does not mean I’m not accepting of others, I only mean that I think this specific kind of social interaction feels weird to me.

    I apologize if my opinion of this comes over as unkind or unhelpful. In fact I might even agree that it is unhelpful and unkind, but I much rather share an unhelpful opinion than a dishonest one (perhaps it is better for me to stay quiet in this case). I’m sure many people share my opinion or have a similar one. You also can’t expect people to immediately change their opinion or be dishonest about it based on the needs of a minority group.

    I also apologize if my initial comment sounded too aggressive and/or hateful. Maybe I should have chosen a more polite way to share this opinion?


  • The reality is that not everyone can go out of their way to adapt to every minority group in existence. I get that it affects people, but that’s just life. Social norms are based on the most common needs and interests of society, not on those of each minority group combined.

    As another example, consider neurodivergent people (ASD, AD(H)D, etc.). Such people (including myself) may struggle when trying to live in a world where most people are “normal” (e.g. poor social skills, anxiety, sensitivity to noises, etc.). It would be nice if everyone could adapt to the needs of all others, but it’s unrealistic in practice due to how many different people with different needs there are in this world.

    I don’t go to people and expect them to adapt to my needs either, because I’m not entitled to their effort to adapt. Unless they are close friends, and they get to know me better, then maybe they will choose to avoid doing things that make me uncomfortable.

    My point is: stop trying to revolutionize the world and introduce new social norms based on the needs of very tiny groups, you’ll only annoy people.


  • Danacus@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyztoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlSo, on pronouns.
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    9 months ago

    Fair point, it doesn’t hurt to include it. But my point is that in most cases it’s irrelevant and it isn’t something everyone has to start doing.

    When I go outside and look around me, 99% of the people don’t need to tell me what their pronouns are, because I guess simply guess them with high certainty based on how they look. You might disagree with this if you feel like everyone should be able to choose their own pronouns (which is fine by me), but in reality most people don’t want to tell you their pronouns, they want you to look at them and just know.


  • Danacus@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyztoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlSo, on pronouns.
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    9 months ago

    While I personally wouldn’t go as far as to call people self-centered, I do think Mr Blott has a point, a lot of people may think they are self-centered for immediately declaring their pronouns (or anything else other than your name for that matter).

    Anyway, that wasn’t what I was trying to say. All I wanted to say is that I don’t think that announcing your pronouns is something that will be or should be normalized, since it’s pointless for the vast majority of people. I do understand why some people would prefer to do this anyway to avoid the awkward situations like “ahem, actually it’s… euuh… he, not she”, and I don’t have a problem with that.


  • Danacus@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyztoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlSo, on pronouns.
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    9 months ago

    I apologize if my comment sounds a bit whiny or if I sounded a bit touchy. I was just a bit annoyed with the amount of comments that seem to suggest telling people what your pronouns is is a common thing in real life, while in my experience, almost no one will ever do that, since it’s obvious in 99.9% of all cases.

    But I suppose I could have phrased my comment a bit less aggressively and I could have made my point clear with less rambling.


  • Danacus@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyztoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlSo, on pronouns.
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    9 months ago

    Honestly, I think that if I would say “my pronouns are he/him”, people would think that’s a weird thing to say and would think something like “oh, it’s one of those woke people”.

    Where I live, the people that tell you about their pronouns are a minority, and they are usually people that need to tell you their pronouns to avoid confusion, or people that are particularly active in the “woke” community.

    For 99% of the people you meet, it’s fair to assume pronouns because it’s obvious. And if your assumption was wrong, they can just tell you. No need to get butthurt over it.

    Saying “my pronouns are…” without anyone asking for them is just ridiculous in my opinion. Like, what are people going to say 5 years from now? “My name is …, my pronouns are …, my ethnicity is …, I live in … and my favorite color is …”?

    What a dumb way to start a conversation. You know, the whole point of a conversation is that you ask and answer questions, or share things you like to share. We don’t need to share everything in the introduction sentence, including pronouns. It’s just pointless most of the time.

    To be clear: if anyone wants to tell me their pronouns right away, all good, I won’t dislike you for it. Just don’t expect the same from me, just assume my pronouns and I’ll be happy to correct you on the off chance that you’re wrong.