I’d advise against using the phrase ‘3/5ths of a person’, but I guess you can always count on Americans (and Texans in particular) to make stupid decisions.

… what do they think the lions are fed any other day?

tofu

TempleOS

When life gives you lemons…

Demand to see life’s manager.

At the end of that word salad he says something regarding masochism, so I think he actually meant to reply, but his reading comprehension left him hanging so he didn’t catch OP was talking about John Oliver (being the Western European living in the US).

(That, or they are just the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic brain. either way, your ‘wtf is this even’ applies)

I can’t believe I almost ate a non-existent onion.

kill -9 $(pidof <process>)

Conversely, it’s also very funny to respond to self-important adults babbling nonsense with baby talk.

Must to what?

Btw also an awesome way of telling people you’re pregnant.

fyi, systemctl disable/enable has a --now flag

That’s because you’re a dumbass. Happy now?

It looks extremely al dente.

“The only thing that stops a bad MRI with a gun is a good MRI with a gun.”

I had hopes other drivers would have joined Verstappen in the swearing in some kind of ‘I’m motherfucking Spartacus’ moment.

I heard they recently switched to pagers because cell phones where deemed to be compromised. So I think besides the direct deaths and injuries, this attack also targeted lines of communication and trust in technology as a whole (or anything supplied by your superior even).

“There’s only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.”

*Alonso frantically searching for his helicopter hat and skateboard*

Wow, 152 people died during a verdict?

I don’t eat meat at all myself

So turkey is still on the menu then, in Minnesota at least.