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People should be eating high fiber foods everyday, in significant quantities. You body does adapt. If even small quantities of these foods causes issues, then you can try increasing slowly and consistently, over say a month or two. Or you can try changing your diet quickly if you have time to deal with any potential side effects short term.
So, just make sure to cook the grains and legumes properly, don’t worry about how cooking degrades nutrients, and eat lots consistently. If one methods of cooking digests or tastes better for you, stick to that.
It’s like people who ask why exercise hurts after being sedentary for a long time. Just exercise more, and it won’t hurt.
I don’t have a solution. However, here’s suggestions.
Try to evaluate her actions and words as a reflection as to her own insecurities or immaturity. Try to assess if there is any thing you can say to her to get her to respect you the way you wish. This would likely involve setting clear personal boundaries. If not, then don’t be her friend, and spend time with people who you have better relationships with. You can also try to make new friends by joining activities you have genuine interest in. I’m guessing if you find people who share your values or interests, you’ll be happier.
Also, if you have some friends you like better, ask them directly if they view you as childish. Ask them to be specific and honest. There might be something easy you can do differently. Or they might not view you as childish at all.