L/nerd

my last ex did this kind of thing with me when i wanted to assert my boundaries by explaining i did not want to be involved in constant death spirals, and then telling me that me leaving them was killing them and also i was crossing their boundaries by asserting my boundaries (???)

Distressing, but I have been reaching out far more than I used to, so I have far more support than I used to. I’m weathering far worse than what would make me crumble before. It gets better and all.

the people who know you are not going to start addressing you differently unless you come out to them and they’re respectful.

Pretty okay. The amount I pass varies by how much effort I put into myself that day, but I’m okay with that. I hope to get into a stablenenough living situation to get bottom surgery.

…is that it’s a capitalism metaphor?

…maybe freud was right.

while i won’t argue people don’t care at all for looks, i’ve seen some people who would be conventionally considered very ugly establish long lasting loves because they are genuinely wonderful to be around. it also helps to try to be around other folks like you. i had a terrible time dating until i did so in trans circles. i am now in a polycule every partner i have is trans and we’re all fucking weird and most of us are at least a bit gross. you don’t even have to entirely cure your depression or complete your transition to find the people are out there, you just have to find some people with things in common. and to be blunt, you calling yourself genetically cursed is akin to much of what incels say. you gotta get out of that headspace. it’s not good for you.

voice training, posture, general attire, makeup etc also all contribute. my mother has consistently been misgendered throughout her life as a cis woman because she doesn’t wear makeup, has a particular posture from working out/physical labor, and wears like jeans and masc-cut t-shirts. all of these things can be changed and posture nor voice training require you have money if you already have internet access.

No one’s playing 4D chess but it’s not wise to think people aren’t opportunistic, or might be following in the footsteps of people who came before - remember the US contra affairs? This kind of shit has been happening forever, and truthfully - even without literally funding their national bogeyman, there’s a lot of things one can do to create their own enemy. Have you ever wondered why Hamas hates Israel? I’ll give you a hint - it has to do with powerful people colonizing land.

Land

Israel

Solving our mental health problem won’t prevent billionaires from existing.

Didn’t say it would. I have no idea where you pulled this from.

Making excuses for billionaires isn’t a mental health issue, it’s an intelligence issue.

I alsi wasn’t giving any slack to billionaires. I also have no idea where you pulled this from.

Both of the above statements from you imply you either didn’t read my comment or understand what it said, primarily because they feel like arguments intended for an entirely different comment. Please tell me how I can best rephrase it if I communicated my ideas unclearly at all.

Also, please refer me to the part of the DSM-5 where it lists “sociopath” as a possible diagnosis.

Funnily enough, empathy doesn’t always apply to all other people! Many often learn to only utilize their empathy to gain social advantages by leveraging an understanding of others, or practice selective empathy in that they have functioning, typical, empathy - just only within their bubble. It’s why some of them get uncomfortable when they’re forced to perceive poor people in a more humanizing way - they have empathy, they’re just choosing not utilize it in a way that benefits larger society. I feel I should also point out that a number of people fit the qualifications for being considered low-empathy, but are regarded as leading admirable lives by otherwise choosing to be good to their fellow human beings - James H Fallon comes to mind.

I’m not suggesting solving all our mental health problems will stop billionaires from existing (though in truth, class disparity creating the stressors it does would definitely make stopping billionaires help population mental health), nor am I suggesting that billionaires should get any sort of excuse. I am pointing out how people in abusive class positions (i.e. billionaires) can still be high-empathy people, and how sociopath literally isn’t a diagnosis anymore. I believe you are having a reading comprehension issue.

“Sociopath” isn’t even an official diagnosis anymore, and certain abusable positions also get noted for their tendency to have high-empathy people working in them - the levels of empathy, in the end, only determine the way the abuse comes through. Empathy is a tool like any other, and trying to insist that it’s a thing that can define the goodness of a person is as absurd as any of the other times people have tried to associate a particular feature with some kind of moral position - not to mention how it only ends up harming marginalized demographics. The wealthy and powerful are not going to care if you deem them low-empathy monsters, but some people around you may feel less safe knowing that you associate low-empathy with evil.

Eewooo eewooo, false dichotomy alarm!!!

oh golly, oh joy! i sure do love assigning all of the people i don’t like into the same group of people with a mental disorder, thus perpetuating the artificial class divide of the mentally well versus the mentally ill! surely this will have no unintended consequences on swathes of the population who have that mental disorder or are otherwise considered disordered but are also “functional” enough to blend in with less-marginalized society!

Until I saw thia message, I entirely thought that this post was suggesting using a condom to choke oneself to death.

HRT doesn’t fix people, they just often have the motivation to work on themselves after being on HRT. Not everyone gets that motivation just from HRT, though. It took realizing who in my life I’d be sending down the same road for me to end up committing myself to an inpatient mental clinic rather than ending my own life. This was also after two years of HRT - it very much did not fix me, but in retrospect it definitely contributed. That being said, it was only one piece of the puzzle. Your betterment may look different, but ultimately it will have to start with how you perceive yourself - not just in terms of how “womanlike” you may be, but also in regards to your own personal narrative, how you appraise your own value as an individual. Best of luck.

YES YES ABSOLUTELY. So much of Disco Elysium is about how your past shapes who you are and Cuno is no exception. Like he’s literally still just a kid, and he’s in a town undergoing horrible acts of violence and his parents are barely present in his life! I’m nowhere near done with my first playthrough of the game yet (only just got that first bridge situation figured out) but aaaagh. Every time I interact with Cuno I’m desperately trying to be a tiny figure of support in his life :'^(

“kuno don’ fuckin care” vibes