vivamatapacos [comrade/them]

There’s several methods to handling this. First, you already have the insight and possess a level of introspection where you’ve reflected on this aspect of yourself enough to understand it is a flawed mindset. I would argue you didn’t waste 10 years because it appears during that time you’ve developed a level of wisdom and maturity many people never do.

Second, in dealing with lack of experiences and struggling with identity, the best I can do is offer some advice that I hope you find helpful. Identity is a tricky thing because of how abstract it becomes the moment you really try to analyze the concept. For a long time I felt like a void of personality due to feeling no strong sense of identity to things that people I saw identified with. I wondered why they found meaning in these things while I couldn’t. But I soon found its because their constructing an identity around employment, commodities, sports, etc., and that I was looking in the wrong places trying to answer “who am I?” I don’t have a great answer to identity crisis though. Ultimately, try not to worry about “what’s my identity/personality,” let people piece it together themselves, either through conversation or by whatever symbols you may use to express yourself. Just let go of trying to define your own identity, let your understanding of yourself and your experiences define you. Which brings us to your reported lack of experiences.

Luckily, a couple things that can be done to help with that. The most immediate one, and it seems you are actively doing which is great, is to go make experiences. By meeting people, carving out opportunities, getting lucky, and so on. But “experiences” in terms of having a repertoire of personal anecdotes comes with time, and well, experience. You’ll get there. No need to look backwards because these experiences are in your present and future.

The next thing you can do is a mix of changing mindset and finding the “experiences” you do have, or rather reframing your view of yourself and the last 10 years. Did you read? Did you learn? Did you cook something new? Did you go on a walk somewhere, take a hike, change a tire? Did you play video games, or watch TV? There’s a plethora of things to draw from in any of those areas in terms of being able to converse and share experience. Like having an opinion about why you liked/didn’t like something and talking about it. You can talk about any of it! Someone has a story and it reminds you of something from a book you read, talk about it.

Last thing, and I don’t recommend this but you’ll find a lot of people do this. Just lie. Half the stories you hear people telling about themselves, their “anecdotes”, are bullshit. Its either highly exaggerated or they’re just stealing a story they heard from someone else. Maybe they read it in a reddit comment. Some people will just collect ‘bits’ and then deploy them out in conversations, but its really just an act. So, you could also develop an ‘act’ of stories that you make yourself the main character of and use that to fill in the last 10 years. But I don’t endorse this method for reasons I feel need no explanation.

The dominant fish women live in the center of the earth.

I understand. My concern with the security of say a Huawei device is, that while domestic surveillance and NSA backdoors into American tech is a significant portion of the state’s security apparatus, I imagine the majority of effort spent by our spy agencies is in compromising and penetrating foreign tech. Yes, its easier for the state to coerce our tech industry into cooperating, but that’s why most of the offensive cybersecurity funding goes towards breaching non-US tech.

the NSA definitely has shit worse than NSO Pegasus for stock android devices

Shouldn’t we assume the same for Huawei devices?

Damn, I missed the (which was already bad) caveat in the title. Yes, the film is great.

Starship Troopers.

I added a couple remarks in an edit to my original comment. I would say that a steady income will be better for your mental health in the near term, but from personal experience it wasn’t something sustainable for me.

Overnight work isn’t healthy. I’ve had several years of my working life where I did night shifts and it was absolutely destructive to my mental health. If you’re young and a night owl, I’d say give it a shot but understand that you shouldn’t do it long term.

Edit: I should say that one of the biggest challenges with night shift is maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle. It requires a lot of discipline, otherwise you will easily find yourself adopting bad habits. Things like eating tons of fast food because that’s all thats open during your commute, etc. Socially you can find yourself struggling too, when everyone else is out while you’re sleeping or working. If you can maintain the levels of discipline needed to eat healthy, get sleep, and meet your social needs, then its doable.