I‘ve not related to something this much in a long time. I‘ve been treated as a traitor for this so often all over my life. I can’t believe that someone actually has a theory about this that is not esoteric in some way.

  • rottingleaf
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    1 year ago

    Well, yes, I had two (2, which is enough) friends outside of school and would sometimes be in contact with their friends, so I knew that my school is a swamp, not an important part of society, and their (classmates, teachers, whatever) opinions are not worth much. I would also read a lot of fiction.

    Then for me there was the first stage of bullying where I came out victorious, so to say. Which allowed the pride part to form.

    Then based on that pride I started evaluating my optimism of the humanity based on what I myself can see and not what others think, and became a bit pessimistic. That and a mental illness in the family and a relationship where I for whatever reason saw it a good thing to embed that girl as deep into my conscience as possible.

    Then that relationship ended, which felt quite a lot like bullying itself the way it did, and then the second open stage happened (apparently I seemed weak), where I developed all those traits in response as means of self-defense (actually started during the first stage, but got complacent during the intermediate events).