• Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Mine just called accused me of being gay via hearty use of homophobic slurs, because only women and gays cry, and i wasnt no woman.

    • ijeff@lemdro.id
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      1 year ago

      That’s lame. Real men aren’t afraid to cry, whether straight or otherwise.

    • winterayars@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Maybe it’s because i hang around the queer parts of the Internet so much but this story just feels incomplete to me without an “I showed him, I’m a woman now” at the end :)

    • rbhfd@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I had subtly internalized that idea from growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. I don’t remember it explicitly being said to mez but probably it has. Don’t think it came from my parents though. Definitely not from my mom, maybe from my dad.

      My point is that despite the subtlety of it all (as far as I can remember), I had a hard time getting over this internalised toxic masculinity. I can only imagine if it was much more explicit.

      But you are you! You define your own masculinity. And as paradoxal as it may seem, being comfortable in your own masculinity, however you define it, is the most manly thing you can do.

    • abraxas@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Everyone said I was disadvantaged by having a single parent, but I didn’t have to live through any of that shit except for 1 year my mother married (and then left the guy because he was an ass)

        • abraxas@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Ehhhhhhhh… I wouldn’t go that far. I had a not-terrible one, who only showed bad sides when I was in my 20s. lol

    • cvozbosher@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      We know it’s not all of you. Your generation also fought for civil rights, explored space, invented jogging I think.

      We have shitheels in our generation too. And I fear they’ll become more and more prominent as we get older. I hope we’re able to dampen their greed and intolerance.

      • Scary le Poo@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Minor correction, boomers weren’t the ones fighting for civil rights. Boomers would have been in kindergarten during the civil rights movement.

      • zik@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        It’s not them. It’s a small number of the 0.1% who have screwed this generation.

    • Balderdash@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Both are true. Boomers as a bloc have consistently voted for cutting social programs that they benefited from in favor of lower taxes, moreso than preceding and succeeding generations. The wealthy indeed shape the bills and reap the benefits, but it wouldn’t happen without boomer support.

  • SmartDebbie@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    As psychologists always say do not blame you parents, they just did what they could

        • Notyou@sopuli.xyz
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          1 year ago

          The point of blaming anybody isn’t really about “blaming” them but understanding the cause of your personal trauma and how you reacted to it. You shouldn’t hold on to your trauma by only blaming someone and stopping your personal growth there. You should work to heal it and better yourself. It is hard to start healing if you don’t know the cause. You have to start somewhere.

          A small example from me is I wouldn’t buy tissue to blow my nose because “I don’t need it. I can use some hard ass brown paper towels and hurt my nose and irritate my skin.” I don’t mind buying the soft lotion plus tissue for my family and loved ones, but not myself. Why? I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. I just kind of always felt that way. That I’m not good enough and didn’t want to bother with nicer things for myself because “I’ll make do.” Is this from upbringing? Parents? Siblings? Friends? Self imposed rules because I interpreted other people’s actions and thought I wasn’t good enough. Finding the cause does help people feel better because they can have a better understanding of what to focus on.

          So yes it does help me feel better. I now have a thing of tissues at work I use when my nose gets runny instead of making do with rough as paper towels. 😁

          • SmartDebbie@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            That is what I think about. I don’t mean they did the best they could. I’m saying that due to their mentality and personal psychology there were no way for them to act another way. If we turn back time they’d do the same thing as it is what they saw from their personal background. I don’t mean we should understand them and forgive, I just think that we could take the responsibility for our life and get over that trauma and frustration to live further without the feeling that our happiness depends on what our parents did to us in the past. You can have another opinion that’s okay, I just express mine.

            • Notyou@sopuli.xyz
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              1 year ago

              I think we both are saying to same thing in different ways. I was just saying blaming someone or finding the source helps to start the healing. It is 100% up to the individual to take responsibility on how they treat people. My older brother has “daddy” issues and tends to blame not getting enough approval for being a mess up. I still blame my brother for not bettering himself since then. He’s in his 40s.

              Every generation has trauma they pass down in some way, both known and unknown ways. Most parents do their best and we are all human. We’re bound to make mistakes. It is up to the individual to learn from them though.

    • Drusas@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      I’m chronically online and just saw this, so it’s not worth complaining about yet.

  • dunning_cougar@waveform.social
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    1 year ago

    Instead of groiping about problems all the time, we should also be thankful for all the great things they invented, like microchips and food abundance.