The problem comes down to preparation.

Traditional recipes for ruling class stem from an era when great body mass was a sign of wealth and all that fat really lent itself well to a roast, either in an oven or on a spit, to really render out all the fruits of that stolen labor (no pun intended, but cherries, plums, or my personal favorite, oranges, work great here to add a splash of color, flavor and complexity), or sliced thinly and fried with veggies that blister well, like peppers and onions.

The modern billionaire is quite lean, demonstrating that they can afford better quality food and have the time to cater to their own health and body, a luxury they’d never afford the people who make them their money. For this, a wet cook is better. Think like a brisket. Ideal for long, slow cooker meats, with acidic and sweet vegetables. Or braised with wine and flavored with umami bombs such as anchovy, like ossobuco.

We have fed them all for a thousand years, but one day they will feed us, so it’s best to be ready!