I wish but seriously the dumbest shit ever. China is not spying on your oafish american ass they literally could care less.

  • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68517607

    The BBC coverage of this is insane. Tiktok is uniquely hypnotic and the youth of today are experiencing reefer madness from this foreign seducer:

    Staffers to other lawmakers on both sides of the aisle also reported hundreds of calls to their offices, from app users young and old, who did not have a clear idea of either who or why they were calling.

    A spokesperson for Dusty Johnson told the BBC his office had received calls from people who were very upset, as well as “some people who are asking kindly if TikTok is going to be banned, and some have said TikTok wouldn’t let them on the app without calling their [representative]”.

    “I am deeply troubled by reports of young people calling Congress, threatening to commit suicide or otherwise harm themselves,” Mr Torres said in a statement to the BBC.

    “The iron grip that TikTok has on the minds of young people is a profound public health hazard.”

    Callers range from teenagers to the elderly, and most are “really confused and are calling because ‘TikTok told me to’”, one Republican staffer revealed.

    Florida Congressman Neal Dunn’s office told the BBC it has received more than 900 calls from TikTokers, “many of which were vulnerable school-aged children”

    • Texarkana Congressman Chestinauld “Tater” Ford-Walmart III was set upon by a gang of youths outside his family’s personal bowling alley. Once he was cornered, they opened their mouths simultaneously to emit a loud static and a disembodied voice whispering violently, “The Future Is Now, We Are The Dark Sunrise.” Then they all started twerking, unamericanly, forcing the Congressman to flee for his life and hide next door in his family’s personal Bible Study Hall & Golden Corral.

      • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        8 months ago

        my son used to be patriotic but now he does china all day. i told him “its time to say the pledge of allegiance boy” and he called me a dang 白鬼 because tiktok told him to.

    • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      I’m on a discord group tht has a lot of zoomers and maybe a few alphas, and they’re suddenly interested in how laws are passed. This is a huge opportunity to radicalize

    • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      I was inclined to say “satire is dead when BBC news are like a carbon copy of a Kelly cartoon with the labels edited out”, but then i remembered the labels are always the best part and that this means that actually, it’s the news that are dead.