Episode Information
| No. | Episode | Written By | Directed By | Release Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5x01 | Red Directive | Michelle Paradise | Olatunde Osunsanmi | 2024-04-04 |
| 5x02 | Under The Twin Moons | Alan McElroy | Doug Aarniokoski | 2024-04-04 |
Today we embark on the final season of Discovery. I’m going make a simple request: whether you love it, hate it, or are ambivalent about it, it would make me so happy if everyone could just be cool. Online discussions about Discovery tend to devolve into circlejerks or two minute hates, and some see the latter in particular as justification to moderate the places where these discussions happen with a heavy hand.
I’m not interested in that kind of community. Online discussions are healthier when everyone is respectful and moderators only need to employ a light touch. So in the words of an ace pilot from another great sci-fi show: I am a friendly, okay? We’re all friendlies. So, let’s just… be friendly.
I’d just like to say, after spending the previous four season of Disco on “everything sunny all the time always” /r/startrek, it’s real refreshing to be able to come to an episode discussion and see one of the top mods just straight up going “child, what the fuck was that?”
Glad I’m not the only one bugged to hell by the “This is a Red Directive.” “Hi, audience here, what is that?” “idk bro you figure it out lol” routine. This is the, like, fifth damn synonym for “super-duper double-dog extra important top-secret thing” you’ve come up with, guys, just pick a lane already, or else five years from now we’re gonna end up with a season-long arc about a General Order Black Code Double-Red Priority Level One Section Alpha 31 Critical Omega Alert Directive.
I’m not sure which would be more obnoxious: if “Red Directive” turns out to just be exactly what I’ve already inferred from context, making all the sinister cryptic vagueness completely unnecessary; or if six episodes from now they pull the rest of the context out of their ass and try to act like it’s a major revelation, like, “ooh, haven’t you forgotten captain, if you fail a red directive mission it means you go to space jail and we blow up your ship???”
They’ve got what could be an incredibly significant story arc going here, and I’m gonna be a little miffed if they spend the bulk of it getting repeatedly pantsed by a couple of horny street urchins instead of, like, pondering the vast untapped mysteries of the ancient cosmos or some shit.
Like I love this show and I can defend a lot of it. I do defend a lot of it. I hate it when people say STD because it’s flagrantly insulting for no reason to both the franchise and the show. I hate when people bash it for no reason. I hate some valid criticisms (although I do admit they are valid). I am a Discovery fan through and through. Fuck sakes I’ve got the Discovery model on my desk in front of me.
But this was the worst episode of Star Trek I’ve ever seen and it genuinely sent me into a depressive spiral with how excited I was for this final season to be presented with that.
Yeah, it’s just frustrating going into what should be a final victory lap for the whole show, one last grand send-off for the crew, and:
A) having to wait until the very end of the episode before you even get a clear answer about what the plot is you’re supposed to care about, and
B) having the whole episode center around a conflict that is only an issue because the characters keep making dumb mistakes that we know they’re way too smart to make, and that only gets progressed because they keep stumbling into favorable contrivances like being shot through the hull of a warbird at just the right angle to spot a cloaked ship taking off.
Ideally you’d want it the other way around, smart protagonists driving the plot forward with their smart decisions and a competent antagonist that’s unpredictable enough to stay a few steps ahead. That’s why the last four seasons worked, really, the bulk of the overarching conflict came from the crew being made to punch way above their weight class, and having to just stop and puzzle out how to take down an entire alien crusade or a time-travelling cyborg or some Cthulhu monsters that are so far ahead of the rest of the galaxy that they literally don’t even notice that they’re vacuuming up inhabited planets. Not as much fun watching a seasoned Starfleet crew getting routinely bodied by shots we’ve seen easily dodged a half-dozen times already. How long have we been playing “whoops, the bad guys got away and we can’t track them” game, at this point, and they’re still falling for it? Or the “whoops, Burnham thought she knew better than the people in charge and the bad guys used it to sucker-punch us” game? Like, c’mon, it’s the end of the show, I think you can let the character development stick just this once.
Also? Kinda annoyed that like half the crew is getting sidelined for Burnham and Book to have just-like-old-times-adventure #17 featuring some crusty old rando sniping from the peanut gallery. I’d like to spend a little more than one scene per episode with the rest of the supporting cast before the end of the series, maybe that’s just me. So far it feels like there’s been more Stamets in this comment thread than there’s been Stamets on the show.
Stamets had like one scene that whole episode, didn’t he? The opening party thing where he’s talking about the Luminary stuff. I don’t remember him at any other point.
They bring Owo and Rhys onto an Away team and then treat them like absolute chumps and toss them away.
Like I actually kinda like Rayner because he’s not putting up with Burnhams shit. When he said “I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure” and beams out at the end of the episode I actually 100% agreed with him. I never thought I’d be on his side but I am. How is it that a captain shows up for a singular episode and already proves directly that he cares more about structure and order than you do?
The Burnham doing the same thing for a thousandth time thing is what killed her character for me. I can’t root for her anymore. She is objectively a bad person. She’s been given chance after chance after chance and fucked almost every one of those up but still gets given another one. She’s the Starfleet version of a white middle aged CEO at this point. She can only fail upward and get away with everything. No consequences for fuck all. At any point. And yeah I don’t care about Book either. Dude detonated illegal weapons and violated so many laws but nah, lets get him back because he just happens to know a thing. Bet he’s not being dropped off back to continue his punishment though. Nah there’s gonna be some contrived reason to keep him on board so Burnham and Book can have another lovey dovey thing. I would not be surprised if Burnham sacrifices herself at the end of the season to protect the crew and Book and honestly if she does I will legitimately cheer and whoop that Starfleets worst Captain (easily outranking Jelico) is finally dead and can’t harm the Federation anymore.
If you told me 3 months ago that Id be saying that I would have given you a warning for stuffing words down my mouth that I’d never agree with. Now I’m one of the biggest people wanting her to die. It’s ruined any rewatch value too. I’m so angry.