• Heresy_generator@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    “The southern border will be directly in the path of totality today when the moon covers the sun for nearly four minutes.” The eclipse, co-anchor Bill Hemmer then added, represents “a real opportunity for smugglers and cartels and migrants to come right in.”

    This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

    • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Cartels: “we have four minutes, guys, we’ve been planning since 2017 for this, get ready!”

    • Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      FOX NEWS ALERT: Rotation of the earth creates HOURS LONG windows of DARKNESS that allow EVIL MIGRANTS to SMUGGLE DRUGS. Liberal CONSPIRACY called “heliocentrism” to blame.

      NEXT UP: Copernicus: Evil woke liberal who fought the catholic church and “proved” the theory that allows migrants to cross the border undetected

      • PlantJam@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Yeah but the 9-12 hours of darkness at night is different, those four minutes were completely unexpected by anyone without access to internet or common sense.

      • Cethin
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        9 months ago

        It’s Critical Centrism Theory, and they’re trying to teach it to your kids!

    • AItoothbrush
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      9 months ago

      Imagine if there was a ten hour period every day when you could “smuggle”. The world would be a horrible place. Wait the world is a horrible place but not because of that.

    • octopus_ink@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

      It’s just the “smart” Republicans watching now, isn’t it? Didn’t the stupidest ones go over to Newsmax and OANN?

  • bahbah23@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Sheriff Lamb, a frequent guest on the right-wing media circle and harsh critic of the Biden administration’s border policies, gave the only conceivable answer: “Look, it gets dark every night.”

  • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    The eclipse crossed into Texas from Mexico and was bussed to Buffalo, New York using Texas state taxpayer money authorized by Greg Abbot. I saw the whole thing.

  • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    2010 thanksgiving dinner

    Hey mom and dad. Got my engineering degree and working in the big city. Doing very well. Also met a girl and wow she is something else it’s getting serious. Took me a long ass time to come out here to see you guys and have dinner. Can we talk about something else besides Obama being a gay Muslim bad guy who hates America? No? Hey you are grandparents now, how does that feel? Twin boys wow. Maybe we can talk about your grandkids for a minute? No? Hey Mom heard you got a promotion at Walmart to head cashier. That’s good right? No, guess you still want to talk about Obama.

    Never again with those people.

  • no banana@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Oh no the smugglers have 4 minutes of extra night! I’m sure it will affect the situation massively! Jesus Christ what are the writers smoking over there

  • AA5B@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    In one of my pictures, there were chemtrails leading directly from the sun, proving this is all about control. Biden caused the eclipse so we’d all look up and fully absorb the mind control chemicals

    (Although seriously, it was a pretty cool picture with the contrail crossing directly between me and then sun)

  • Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I’m convinced they’ve given up like an aging Rockstar trying to play the hits of the olden days. The musician the spews the same tune, though it’s body is aging.

    The younger ears and minds don’t care for the song. They only think of their aging grandparent in the corner with a lonely record player, possibly playing its last tune. While they listen to there favorite song.

  • TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Just can’t turn off the Spigot of Stupid for 5 mins and enjoy one of the wonders of the universe, eh?

    Has anyone tried turning off the fawx building and turning it back on? Like a WIFI?

  • LostXOR@fedia.io
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    9 months ago

    Clearly the smugglers will sneak in while everyone’s craning their necks upwards at the eclipse!

  • Honytawk
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    9 months ago

    Well, they got to pivot away from the microchips in the vaccines that were supposed to activate during the eclipse.

  • Matriks404@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    No matter which country, I am just wondering how do regular people fall for this bullshit propaganda? Do they have an IQ equal to that of a dead elephant?