I am 100% confident it’s them because so many details lined up (team, size of family, compensation, role, location, job level) including them using a specific phrase of words after a few days I sent it in our work chat

Obviously, I can’t prove it’s them so HR would never take action. Not only that but this guy is one of those started coding when they were 10 years old so not only are they a higher level than me, they also perform way better than me so complaining to my manager or teammates would 100% also backfire as they would 100% prefer a very high performing misogynist and transphobe than a poor performing woke sjw (me)

  • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    62
    ·
    edit-2
    26 days ago

    I think your real blocker here is you snooped on a coworkers social-media. And not their Facebook, but their reddit account, something that’s supposed to be anonymous. HR would probably fire you for cyber stalking a coworker if you showed that evidence.

    I can’t imagine he’s that much a of a peice of shit in person or else you wouldn’t need ilicit evidence to report him. But if the coworker is generally a piece of shit you now know how bad it is know what to keep an eye out for. You kind of have an edge on him. You know he’s a coward.

  • buh [any]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    47
    ·
    edit-2
    26 days ago

    nothing to do but live with it, and try to get a different job. FWIW you’re not alone, I work in a company where everyone from low level technicians to the c-suite are all that and a bag of shit, openly. I manage by keeping everything strictly business, I try to not think about them outside work and only talk to them when I have to for work reasons.

    • MaxOS [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      29
      ·
      edit-2
      26 days ago

      This is the only way. Talk to them when you need to and avoid any conversations that veer into political/social issues. Use the “haha yeah, it’s crazy” line as needed.

    • ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      26 days ago

      This is the most measured and reasonable response, given the situation. I’m sure if we tapped into the private thoughts of any number of people we would be thoroughly disappointed at this time.

      Do what you can do to stay safe, employed, and supportive of others as a counter to such individualistic bigotry.

  • pooh [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    34
    ·
    edit-2
    26 days ago

    There’s already some good ideas here, but another one I’ll throw out is that you can fill out a form online (or call 1-888-LDS-7700) to request a mormon missionary. Just give them your coworkers name and address, including maybe work address. They are extremely annoying and hard to get rid of, and your coworker will suffer for it.

    You can also mail them a giant cardboard penis anonymously with https://shipadick.com/, though I haven’t tried this myself.

    • iPostPMCLinkedIn [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      edit-2
      26 days ago

      so more specifically, they hate people who bring their “removed spawn” into the work offices for free meals, to show them the art inside, or to just hang out inside because work should only be for employees who get shit done

      they also hate it when people go to social events in the office at like, 4:30PM and chat because it distracts them from their work

    • CliffordBigRedDog [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      21
      ·
      edit-2
      26 days ago

      Look man i just want to hang out with my bro for every waking moment and share my most tender moments with him

      Aint nothing wrong with wanting to spend the rest of my life with my bro and\or bros

  • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    26 days ago

    Everyone is giving you lame advice. I will give you epic advice.

    Plant a bug on his computer that screenshots his computer and send it to a burner email. If he is indeed the user, Stay late one day, and when everyone goes home, try to log into his computer (or a computer you can log into and make the desk seem identical to his). Change the date so it looks like it’s in the middle of the day and he simply forgot to lock his computer. Pull up the screenshot of his posts, and take a photo in a candid fashion. Then turn it to HR.

    Simple saul-your-honor

    • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      edit-2
      26 days ago

      Plant a bug on his computer that screenshots his computer and send it to a burner email. If he is indeed the user, Stay late one day, and when everyone goes home, try to log into his computer (or a computer you can log into and make the desk seem identical to his). Change the date so it looks like it’s in the middle of the day and he simply forgot to lock his computer. Pull up the screenshot of his posts, and take a photo in a candid fashion. Then turn it to HR.

      Might not even need to go through with this.

      If they’re a redditor there’s a good chance they reddit during work hours. Just need to get a photo of it. Account name will be visible in top right. This may take some time and patience but it’s going to happen eventually.

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    26 days ago

    Figure out a plan to use the information to set up a situation where workplace laws are broken against you in a way that gives you a foolproof payout.

  • HarryLime [any]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    26 days ago

    It doesn’t sound like there’s anything you can do. Was there any indication that he was like this before you found the reddit account?

    • iPostPMCLinkedIn [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      edit-2
      26 days ago

      Well I didn’t assume anything because I’m not judgemental like that but tbh it’s not really surprising I found out they were an incel from their appearance, life outside work, coding abilities, willingness to chat, etc.

      • HarryLime [any]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        ·
        26 days ago

        My recommendation would be to keep your interactions with this person professional and to a minimum. You can’t really avoid being around terrible people in life sometimes, so I’d find a way to live with it, unless of course they start being terrible and abusive at you. I mean, does it really affect you if this person is as bad as you say?

  • Mindfury [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    26 days ago

    You’re now in a position of power, even if the knowledge might initially suck. Mentally torture this dweeb, both online and possibly irl

  • chickentendrils [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    26 days ago

    Good they’re remote, for you, but also means they’ll be challenged less on this stuff. You could try to make them more normal through alt replies over time or something, but otherwise there’s lots of bad people who keep it hidden. At least you know and if something serious does happen you won’t have any confusion about them…