Scientists have found microplastics in human penises for the first time, as concerns over their proliferation and its potential health effects continue to mount.
I know, I put them there
Hey! Who told you anything about my penis was micro?
Mine got BIG plastics.
Or something
It seems to me, the reason this was found for the first time, is because this was the first time someone bothered to look.
(Tim Meadows voice) “Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but I do not think there should be plastic in a man’s wang”
If you apply a steady “milking” motion to the penis over several minutes, you will eventually coax it into releasing some microplastics from the tip. Believe me, if feels good to get rid of those microplastics.
Practicing this regularly will keep your penis microplastic-free.
Hi I’m an expert at removing microplastics. Fellas, if you’re finding them in your penis - contact me.
Instructions unclear. Now I’ve got “Raw Milk”.
More importantly is it hard or soft microplastics.
Well if there’s a possibility an event will start a movement to fix it, this is the event.
This or proof microplastics cause male pattern baldness
I’ve kind of accepted my fate as an organic container that holds plastic.
CIRCLE -> LIFE -> OF
i think that’s the idea: we eat food from plastic containers, and then become containers for the plastic. in our dicks apparently
And balls… don’t forget the balls. Apparently they hold more than just pee these days.
It was only a matter of time, they first found microplastics in a man’s testicles. Scientists finding microplastics in a man’s penis was bound to happen sooner or later. Hopefully, this will inject a strong sense of fervor in the quest to filter or destroy microplastics in the environment. Also, to reduce the usage of plastic in general!
Obligatory defeatist response:
Until it becomes cost effective to reduce the use of plastics, or a personal tragedy of someone close to a big enough decision-maker, the status quo will remain the same.
The majority of microplastics found in the human body are tire rubber that gets breathed in. So all we have to do is ban cars.
