• FireRetardant@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I wish one of my close buddies would get this. He is nearly 30 and has never held down a job. He feels like life is pointless, has no money, cannot afford anything. He kinda wants a job, but all he can imagine are super unique positions like being a jeweler, a historic weapons restoration or other obscure jobs. I hate to burst his bubble but his jobs are often unrealistic for his experience and education level but he refuses to do some basic position.

    For example, he has never owned or fired a gun and doesn’t have a gun lisence but expects a museum will hire him to work on historic firearms. He refuses to attenpt to get any other positon. He is just waiting for his mom to get enough money to move to a different city so he can go to another college program to try to get this job. He won’t even do the first step in my opinion which is getting a gun lisence and getting actual experience with real firearms.

    • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      these people are enabled by loved ones. he’ll start trying as soon as he has to.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        In my experience, entry level retail work is absolutely soul-crushing and the pay is barely worth showing up for.

        People imagine getting a job and moving out of their parents’ homes, living Melrose Place style in an apartment full of hotties, having a social life, hooking up, and building adult relationships. But OP’s experience seems more like the exception than the rule. A lot of these places have incredibly high churn, no upward mobility, and are a huge physical/emotional suck that leaves you feeling exhausted the moment you’re home.

        Good for getting a leg up literally anywhere else, as they prove you can “be normie”. But horrendous for any kind of actual professional career advancement outside of a casual recommendation going into your next job. And the pay is so bad that it often doesn’t even cover the basic cost of living (car, food, utilities, etc). You’re still going to be living with your parents. You’re not going to have any kind of fuck-around money. There’s no promotion path that gets you out of this hole. Its not where you want to spend one more minute of your life than you absolutely have to.

        • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          what you say is true, but it beats NEET for mental health. Got to start somewhere. Also theres no reason to only apply to retail jobs. Reach out to every company you can find that fits your criteria (geography/industry/company size, etc .) a librarian can help with this.

          • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            what you say is true, but it beats NEET for mental health.

            In my experience, it causes NEET-tier mental health. These rise-and-grind employment situations burn through people rather than developing them into more skilled and useful workers.

            Reach out to every company you can find that fits your criteria

            By all means, absolutely do that. But I see a ton of dysfunction on the corporate side of the coin that rarely gets acknowledged when we talk about “NEETs” as a social phenomenon. As though hundreds of thousands of young people just woke up one morning and all decided to be lazy at once. From my experience, people are being thrown into an economic wood chipper. Some of them escape. Some miraculously pass through. But a bunch are torn to shreds - physically, psychologically, emotionally - and then told to take responsibility for their mangled state.

            I’ve seen this arc before, aimed specifically at minority youth groups (African Americans, in particular). From my experience, what comes next is a ton of brutal policing and human immiseration for anyone who can’t climb through successfully. And then you get another Ferguson.

            • Laurentide@pawb.social
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              4 months ago

              My mental health improved considerably after I was fired from my basic retail job and was no longer spending 8 hours a day having panic attacks and dissociating. It’s not good, but it’s a lot better than it was and I can’t go back to living like that. Even a year later I still sometimes wake up in a panic from nightmares about working in that place.

              I want to work and be productive, but every job I could reasonably qualify for has a sanity cost and I’m all tapped out.

          • FireRetardant@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            My parents own a swimming pool company. They were willing to pick him up and drop him off at home while he worked for them and he refused to do it. I used to work there too and I will admit it can be labour intensive, but it was a good job, working outside in small teams. Its also a good enterance into plumbing or gas fitting trades and a lot of the labour experience could be used as experience for any trade/job.

            The guy defintely has mental health issues as well, he barely does any chores or anything for himself. He wouldn’t have even needed an interview for this job, he could have just been ready to work one morning and started.

        • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          Yep, imagine that, work that anyone can do sucks balls.

          Now let’s go back about 80 years or so, when simply growing enough food for your family was a real concern for a large portion of the “First World” nations.

          My parents and grandparents were always hungry. Always. It’s why my grandparents emigrated to the US, and my parents moved from where they grew up to somewhere with opportunity, hundreds or thousands of miles away from family.

          So yea, my soul-sucking jobs (usually 2 at a time until my 30’s, sometimes 3 at a time) sucked. But they were still better than what my parents went through, by a long shot.

          I had heat, hot water, food, and a car. Multiple changes of clothes and shoes, not just one or two (or none). I didn’t have to sleep in the barn with the animals like my grandfather. Or in a cold house with nothing but a wood stove in the kitchen like my parents. And I could shit inside, not have to go to an outhouse in the winter (these still existed, even in cities in the US in the 50’s).

          • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Yep, imagine that, work that anyone can do sucks balls.

            Given the turnover rate, its not just anyone. The miserable nature of the work and the awful pay tends to make these jobs difficult to fill.

            Now let’s go back about 80 years or so

            Subsistence farming hasn’t been the primary means of employment in the US in over a century.

            But they were still better than what my parents went through

            The inflation adjusted minimum wage of 1950 was $2 more than it is today. By the 1970s, the min wage was an inflation-adjusted $12.60. And that was with housing at less than a quarter of the going inflation-adjusted rate and utilities practically being free. Americans saw an explosion in quality of life between the 1940s and 1980s, peaking in the 90s at the dawn of the information age.

            I didn’t have to sleep in the barn with the animals like my grandfather. Or in a cold house with nothing but a wood stove in the kitchen like my parents. And I could shit inside, not have to go to an outhouse in the winter

            My home town of Houston is in its second city-wide blackout in barely more than a month. If our grid degrades any further, or a big enough storm tears up enough excess infrastructure, we could conceivably be back to wood stoves and out-houses by the end of the year. And we’re hardly alone. From Flint, Michigan to Miami, Florida, core components of municipal infrastructure are failing in large part thanks to over-investment in consumer facing sales and under-investment in public works.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Well yeah, and that’s not the point of those jobs. The point of those jobs is to encourage you to skill up so you no longer have to do those jobs. Ideally, those jobs should mostly be staffed by teenagers, so they can learn that lesson before deciding to give up on school or whatever.

          That’s a huge part of why I oppose raising the minimum wage. Minimum wage aren’t supposed to be where you go to make a living, they’re where you’re supposed to be where you get perspective so you realize you need to do something, anything different. Getting paid $20/hr for a crappy job doesn’t make it a career, and it just enables people to not try to improve themselves.

          If you want a cool job, do the work to qualify for that cool job. If you want lots of money, do your research to see what pays well and put in the work to qualify. Etc.

          • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            The point of those jobs is to encourage you to skill up

            The point of these jobs is to generate surplus profit for your employer. Nobody works the check out counter at Target as an educational experience and there is no path to promotion in a seasonal position.

            Minimum wage aren’t supposed to be where you go to make a living

            If you cannot afford to live, how the hell are you supposed to work? Have you tried showing up to a job on an empty stomach or without any sleep? Your productivity dips straight into the trash. Min wage rates exist to mitigate the negotiating power of unemployed people, absent a large labor movement. And while I agree they’re more of a band-aid than a structural benefit, and we might even be better off with them gone if it means a more united and militant labor movement, the idea that we shouldn’t raise them because entry level workers just deserve to be malnourished and homeless isn’t ethical or logical.

            If you want a cool job, do the work to qualify for that cool job.

            Ah, yes. Working for the experience. Or, “We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us”. The American employment model that never ends badly.

            • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              The point of these jobs is to generate surplus profit for your employer

              No, the point is to teach kids that working retail sucks, and they should do everything they can to never have to do that again. There’s only excess profit if you’re sticking around more than a year or two, otherwise the employer is likely not making much and you’re getting valuable life experience.

              Retail is to get experience with working. You show up on-time, interact with people, learn to organize stuff, etc. You get a taste of the most unpleasant parts of almost everything society has to offer, so you get an idea of which parts to actively avoid the most. If you don’t mind dealing with stupid customers, go into sales. If you don’t mind organizing stuff, try accounting. If you don’t mind managing shifts, get an MBA. And so on.

              If you cannot afford to live, how the hell are you supposed to work?

              Exactly! If we try to solve that problem by increasing the minimum wage, we’re just enabling more people to stick to crappy jobs and live unfulfilling lives. If a minimum wage job isn’t enough to live on, people will be forced to look elsewhere and get decent jobs that pay better and have better working conditions.

              Retail and fast food should be the domain of teenagers and college students learning valuable life lessons about never being stuck in retail or fast food.

              And while I agree they’re more of a band-aid than a structural benefit

              They’re worse than a bandaid, they’re a full-body cast. They bind you so you can’t get out. It’s similar to the welfare system, where the time you spend getting benefits or whatever should be spent looking for a better job.

              We don’t need a labor movement, we need something like UBI. My preference is NIT (Negative Income Tax), which is basically UBI but limited to people below a certain income.

              If everyone could afford to survive (basic needs like shelter and food) without having to work a crappy job, they’d be more selective about the work they take on. Here’s my proposal:

              1. completely end the minimum wage - don’t just lower it, eliminate it entirely
              2. institute NIT where you’re guaranteed to be at the poverty line at a minimum, even without working (poverty line is ~$15k for a single person, depending on area)
              3. transform Social Security to fund this NIT, so it’s an actual safety net instead of a retirement program, and remove the income cap

              Here are my expected results:

              • wages for retail and fast food would plummet, and most workers would be replaced by high school and college kids; prices for fast food would also fall
              • unemployment would go up, as would the number of people not looking for employment
              • enrollment in trades would go up, since people now have the time to try something new
              • unemployment would trend downward again after an initial shock, and average incomes would go up
              • automation of jobs would be slowed in certain jobs, and increased in others, depending on desirability of those jobs

              Addressing the symptoms is just going to exacerbate the issue. I believe this proposal cuts at the root of the problems we have, which is that people don’t like working in jobs that don’t go anywhere, but they feel they have to in order to afford to live. Let’s socialize the cost of undesirable jobs so we can encourage people to create more desirable jobs instead and automate the stuff nobody wants to do.

              • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                No, the point is to teach kids that working retail sucks

                The retail industry does not exist to teach kids retail jobs suck.

                • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                  4 months ago

                  The industry, no, but the jobs do.

                  Compare working at Target to working at Costco. Target is a “working retail sucks” job, whereas Costco is a “retail is a small part of a career” job. At Costco, you do a wider range of jobs, like driving forklifts, selling memberships, etc. At Target, you just restock shelves and occasionally help customers find stuff. Target wants disposable employees, so its onboarding process is streamlined to narrow roles (i.e. perfect for students looking for a part-time job).

                  So while those jobs may not have been created with that in mind, that’s how they’ve been optimized. Most retail jobs are intended to be disposable, which means they’re targeting the low-end of the market.

  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I had a friend when I was in college. Her older loser brother who lived in her mom’s basement called one day. He asked if he could stay with her. She knew him and didn’t want to have him staying with her and her boyfriend, taking their sofa, eating their food, and so on. She said “sorry but no”.

    Apparently he called everyone he knew looking for a place to crash because their mom gave him an ultimatum. Nobody would take him.

    After he tried everyone, he killed himself in that fucking basement. 😖

    • buttfarts@lemy.lol
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      4 months ago

      I hate to say but everyone who said no dodged that bullet. If they took him in and eventually asked him to leave he’d off himself in that person’s house instead.

      • Wilzax@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        If someone would sooner kill themselves than find a job of any kind, that’s a really sad way to live. I’m so sorry for those that knew him and who have to suffer either grief or guilt that they’re not sad that he’s dead. But I’m also sorry for that person whose executive dysfunction drove them to avoid any kind of self improvement and made them suicidal rather than determined to change themselves. I wish for anyone who might end up like this again that they find the courage and means to get therapy, and that said therapy prevents this.

        Unhealthy minds and unhealthy brains are probably the scariest parts of the body to be unwell.

        • Dudewitbow
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          4 months ago

          NEET is a term that came out of the 90s in the UK, and was a borrowed acronym in Japan after that. not a new term by any stretch of the imagination and is barely younger than the modern internet itself.

          • DefederateLemmyMl@feddit.nl
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            4 months ago

            In academic circles, sure, but it’s fairly recent that it has been seeping into internet language, mostly through 4channers who started using the term for themselves in a self-deprecating way.

            • Dudewitbow
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              4 months ago

              its often used in circles relating to japan for awhile, mainly anime as shows like Welcome to the NHK(2006) cover it. still technically speaking, not a new term, and i wpuldnt be suprised if /A/ on 4chan used it for more than a decade now. definitely not recent.

              • DefederateLemmyMl@feddit.nl
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                4 months ago

                Well I’m sure it’s been in use for a while, but not in mainstream internet lingo is my point.

                Speaking for myself, I only learned about this term a year or so ago, because I remember looking it up, and I remember thinking: huh, so there’s a word for that now. Since then, I’ve seen it come up several times, almost always in greentext posts like this one.

        • dev_null@lemmy.ml
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          4 months ago

          I learned about this acronym in a Geography class in school, 15 years ago, and this wasn’t in an English speaking country. So it’s old enough and common enough that it was part of the curriculum even though it was a foreign acronym.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Yup. Not employed, trying to get employed, or working to improve employaibility. If you’re old w/ a nest egg, we call it retirement. If you’re not, we call it mooching.

  • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 months ago

    That’s great anon, really. But there’s also /c/wholesomegreentext now. Let’s keep this one focused on 4chan insanity instead. I need my fecality fix.

    • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Idk, the text looks pretty green to me and i don’t mind the occasional palate cleanser, in between an enduring fecality fix.

      Just like a glorious slice of gari, in between some yummy sushi.

      • Liz@midwest.social
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        4 months ago

        Plus, like, Lemmy ain’t big enough for that kind of specialization yet, in my opinion.

  • Getawombatupya@aussie.zone
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    4 months ago

    Turns out if you go out of your way to not be a sexual deviant, people won’t have a safe word around you. Go, Normie.