Morrissey wins bad sex award for love scenes in debut novel List of the Lost
www.theguardian.com
Singer’s description of a ‘giggling snowball of full-figured copulation’ helped him gain dubious victory

The love scene in question:

At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

More review snippets here. One includes the line, “do not read this book.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception

  • tigeruppercutEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    On a related note, there’s the Bulwer Lytton prize for terribly written introductions to novels. It was based on the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, famous especially for its first line

    It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer-Lytton_Fiction_Contest