This topic comes up somewhat regularly here. If you have kids, what can you do to at least give them the best shot at understanding and embracing your communist / Marxist / dialectical materialist views? We usually come up with a couple big picture ideas, but over the last few weeks I’ve been jotting down very specific, concrete actions you can take. This list is not meant to exhaustive - I’m hoping you all have great ideas to share, too. But this is what I’ve come up with so far:
(And to clarify something, I’m 100% convinced to do need to be somewhat intentional and didactic about your values and views if you want your kids to share them. To think “I’m just going to let them find their own way, I don’t want to influence them” is 1,000% lib shit. I’m not even sure most liberals think that way.)
Be a good parent: This one seems obvious, but it’s so important it bears repeating and should be at the top of the list. You should be a good, involved parent for a number of reasons anyway. But, if you want your kids to share your views, being a good parent is the #1 way to encourage that. Or at least, being a shitty parent is a surefire way to make sure your kids rebel against everything you care about
Get organized: Get involved in an org, even if it’s something like DSA. It can be an actual org like PSL or even just helping feed homeless folks in your town. Your kids can see how you have a great grasp of reality thanks to materialism, which might make them inclined to think you know what you’re talking about. But if they know you see the problems in the world, but aren’t doing anything to change that world… I can see how some kids might see that as kinda hyprocritical.
Learn history, especially from a materialist perspective: This is easy for me because I love history, even long before I was a Marxist. But if you don’t enjoy history, I think you should at least push yourself and try to understand at least the materialist history behind what your kids will learn in school (so for American kids, making sure you understanding things like how the constitution was formed, how African-Americans have been held down throughout history, etc.). Especially if you are American, this is easy because most Americans are dumb as shit when it comes to history, and K-12 history teachers aren’t much better. If your kids see that you know what you’re talking about, they will largely trust your analysis. So when your kid hears in class that “the US fought the Korean War because the Soviets wanted to take over”, they will know to come to you and ask if that’s true - because they know you likely have a much more thorough and accurate answer.
For little kids, read history books to them: Right now my kid loves Nelson Mandela, because we have a couple books about him. I happen to believe that fostering a love of history can definitely help point kids in the right direction (even if by itself it probably won’t turn them commie). Just make sure it’s “good” history and not just that crap that glazes the founding fathers.
For older kids, engage with them on what they’re learning in school: Good idea for all subjects, but especially for the social sciences. Ask questions. Be genuinely interested. While like said above, you need to be didactic but older kids especially aren’t going to want to hear you rant about how Stalin saved the world from fascism for 15 minutes every time he comes up. Know when to just ask and listen with them.
Stay on top of current affairs: Keep up with the News Mega! All the stuff I said above about history applies to news & current events.
Play some commie podcasts when you’re in the car with them: I feel like I might get push back on this, so let me explain. When I was a kid, my parents had news radio on whenever we were in the car. And even if I didn’t understand what was always being talked about, I know for a fact I absorbed a ton of information passively that way. I believe that is a big reason I’m as interested in what’s going on in the wider world today. I know we’re generally down on leftist podcast but the reality is there’s a ton of good content out there.
Try to have answers ready for when kids ask about what you believe: I think especially for younger kids, it’s good to have simple answers ready that they can understand. And don’t worry about being precisely correct in your response. When your kid asks “are we republicans or democrats?” or “do you vote for republicans or democrats, keeping in mind they may have a hard time understanding a complicated response. Say something like “I vote for whoever helps poor people or immigrants or people who work for a living”. That’s much better than trying to explain the drawbacks of electoralism to a 7 year old. Obviously you can be more detailed and precise with older kids.
Try and have leftist adult friends who also have kids: Believe me, I get how hard this. It’s nearly impossible to find any broadly leftist parents in my area, much less those who have time for socializing. So this is more of an ideal to try and reach, not a concrete action. But I think having some friends around who share your views - and have kids who can befriend your kids - is very effective. Just hard to pull off.
Push back hard against any transphobia or homophobia: Whether you see it IRL or in media, don’t hesitate to be clear with your kids what being LGBTQ is about and that anyone who against LGBTQ rights sucks. I say this because I was raised in an environment very hostile to LGBTQ people. Just the other day, my kid wanted her two Barbie dolls to get married. For a fraction of second, there was that old voice in the back of my head saying “they’re too young to understand”. But of course they’re not, and I explained how of course two Barbies can get married. Kids DO need to understand the validity of LGBTQ identities at a very young age.
If you’re white, teaching anti-racism is important: Because if you’re white, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of “well I’m not racist and no other white people I know are racist, so racism must be over”. It’s easy because white society pushes this notion so hard. You absolute have to teach kids about systematic racism and how they actually do need to stand up to racist pricks, because they will encounter them.
That’s the list I have so far, would love to hear your additions.
Just be normal or you’ll end up with a Buttigeig.
Some standards of “normal” are fucked up, though.
“Normalcy” as a mandate lead to covid being allowed to spread everywhere and mutate freely, for example.
Even the imperative of “just be normal” is sometimes chud/bully talk which may well have the opposite intended effect if your goal is to raise kids that care about other people and society as a whole.
That’s a fair criticism.
I suppose what I meant to say is just treat them with affection. Be there. Support them. Demonstrate empathy for humanity and the planet in your most mundane actions. I feel like once you treat it like indoctrination, things will go way off the rails. The tighter your grip, the more slips through your fingers sort of deal. In other words, don’t try too hard to raise a communist. Just be continue to be thoughtful, inquisitive, curious, mindful, observant and these characteristics will lead them down the right path.
I totally support all of that. I wonder if part of it is “keep the Alphabets away from your kid”
your comment reminded me of Marx’s motto: ‘Nihil humani a me alienum puto’ or ‘Nothing human is alien to me’, from a play called The Self-tormentor (Heauton Timoru-menos) by Terence (Publius Terentius Afer, 195/185-159 BCE), a famous Roman dramatist.
Death to “normal”
I strongly suspect that if Pete’s dad was like every other college professor I’ve known, there’s a good chance he was violating #1. Most professors I know put the job first and their families a distant second.
many such cases
Was his dad not normal?
His dad was a Marxist literary scholar and translator. He translated the Gramsci prison manuscripts into English in 1992. Not exactly a “normal” person, but I know noting about Pete’s upbringing. I’m just riffing on the idea that there are a lot of prominent US politicians today who’s parents were Marxist or Marxist-adjacent (mostly in academia, rather than struggle) and this has apparently had no bearing on the ideology of their children.
I’m a Marxist with kids who despises Pete so I’ve done what I can to learn more about his upbringing. Something interesting I found was that Pete’s dad read and enjoyed the NYT every day, which strongly suggests to me that he was a liberal, not a Marxist, perhaps one who just used his knowledge of Italian to translate (and probably defang) Gramsci and get a cushy academic position. I’ve worked as a university instructor before and it was by far the easiest job I’ve ever had.