My org has like 8 events on the calendar for this upcoming week and I’ll need to attend at least 2-3. The first one isn’t until tomorrow but seeing those updates just drained me of energy and now all I want to do is lay down and tune out the world.
Yes.
The anticipation, and the undue dread from visualizing what would happen if I for some reason forgot or neglected those obligations, can be draining.
It especially sucks when it’s things I can’t do now even if I wanted to, where the waiting is part of the anticipation.
What really sucks is my org knows I’m autistic, they’ve been understanding of my difficulties in the past, but I can’t just unlearn the lessons of a lifetime of being belittled and dismissed any time I tried to assert needs that neurotypical people decided didn’t count.
Relatable.
I used to lead my tiny little old org but I took it so full-time seriously that I had no time or energy for anything else yet at the same time I was afraid it’d all fall apart without me if I so much as looked away for too long.
When I finally appointed someone to replace me and I couldn’t get my old position back even if I wanted to, that was a massive relief.
The worst is having an end of day appointment. I’m thinking about it all day so I don’t miss it and can’t get anything done.
I suffer from this as well. Why isn’t there a word to describe this condition? I bet the Germans have a precise term for it.
I feel like this concept would be incomprehensible for a German.
Why isn’t there a word to describe this condition?
“Dread”
always heard it referred to as “appointment mode”
With the addition of a new member that has a wife and kids, the band has been starting practices at like 930 or 10PM from time to time. I hate it when we do that, feels like it throws off the WHOLE day.
If I make plans in advance, they feel like obligations and I immediately want to flake. If I don’t make plans in advance, I get anxious and say no because I don’t have time to prepare mentally. The only way to get me to do anything is to hit the sweet spot right around 24 hours in advance, which gives me just the right amount of time to not feel either pressured or unprepared.
I don’t do a lot of things.
This feels sane to me. I’ll maybe adopt the 24 hour thing, where applicable.
My brain works very similarly.
I don’t normally identify as ND but this rings so true to me.
buddy you have no idea
Yes constantly. It’s the worst feeling.
yes, having one obligation in the evening can completely sap me for the entire day as i fixate on that one thing i have to do later. then i get irritable about how i never have any time and basically turn into gradgrind’s wife from ‘hard times’ “Upon my word and honour I seem to be fated, and destined, and ordained, to live in the midst of things that I am never to hear the last of. It really is a most extraordinary circumstance that it appears as if I never was to hear the last of anything!'”
I’m supposed to help an amazingly kind person who has helped me out a ton with a minor errand and i’m supposed to spend time with her and I wanna tell her nah i’m not up for it just out of existential dread and pre-emptive anxiety
yup. i call it ‘pretired’. i really struggle to do anything i want to do toward the end of the weekend because of it.
Oh yeah, that’s me.
I’m fine with obligations as long as it’s far enough ahead so I can plan down time before hand.
Yes, and having more than 3-4 things happening in a week wears out my social battery like no other. Can’t do things like doctor or dentist in the same week because they’re all I can think about. It can be kinda frustrating.
Usually, if i have something important to do the next day, i can’t sleep. Usually it’s something where being rested would be good. also, yes, i hate having things on the calendar.
Depends what and how long.
I’m one of the few people that deeply enjoy org meetings, but if I have 2 jobs that eat up 90% of waking hours in a 48-hour span, the beginning of that feels dreadful.
