The elvish council spent centuries debating why Sauron would do this, but the truth was he was interested in the tax deductions and a detailed income splitting scheme that harvested losses from Dwarven commodity futures to offset Mordor’s growing volcano habit.
Smaug was only ever in the Lonely Mountain to fully calculate wealth Sauron had sheltered there.
Does this mean Smaug was a tax auditor? No wonder nobody liked him.
Most dragons are misunderstood. Do you know how long it takes to count a mountain of jewels and coins, with at least one jewel worth entire kingdoms hidden in the stack?
You can’t estimate the value by weight, it’s a heterogenous mixture. It must be meticulously counted in only the way a dragon can.
It’s no wonder they attack anyone trying to steal from the horde they’re working on.
Drag wants to bone the nerd dragon
Good for you, drag. Good for you.
Is the dragon actually slain and dying, or is it just a flesh wound?
Interesting take. Perhaps it is simply a ruse to try and trick a medieval society into industrialization and the supporting capitalist thought…
and in the darkness… Bind them… to the following terms and conditions regarding… well, you see, we’ve been trying to reach you regarding your auto coverage…
I’m sorry Elrond and Lorien, the terms and conditions state you must resolve the war of elves through binding arbitration adjudicated by the Mouth of Sauron.
What if we kissed under the Great Eye? 😳 Haha jk jk, unless… 🥺👉👈
1 to Sauron, 3 to the elves, 7 to dwarves, 9 to humans.
3+7 = 9+1
Sauron shipped a himself and a bunch of humans with elves and dwarves.
Oops! All Gay
That guy was a real life doctor at one point.
Yeah, and yet he’s most known for showing his small dick in The Hangover. Hilarious.
Can’t beat that +2AC. Shame about the 7 day limit, though.
They said “no homo” so it’s ok
Man, deciding where to spend the holidays is going to be a nightmare.
Just two dudes getting married, nothing gay about that
Shipping intensifies
No backsies!
regarding your name :(
Look at their comment history. They’re a troll.
because I react negatively to things does not mean I’m a troll. grow the fuck up
Picks a username designed to anger the community they’re in
Says they’re just a jerk when questioned on it
Idk bro, have you considered that trolls are also known for being ugly and mean?
Nice try.
