Usually the wrestler billed from Parts Unknown is a big weirdo with facepaint or an elaborate mask or costume. I’d just be, like, a guy. With a normal guy outfit and a normal guy haircut. I’d come out and the commentary team would be like “They say that by day he works downtown at the insurance exchange,” or some shit.

Though, in conversation with a friend, we refined the idea to one wherein the bad guys keep speculating that I’ll snap one day and become like all the other “freaks” from Parts Unknown.