WASHINGTON—In a historic outcome that promised to halt the rising scourge of the United States in its tracks, America has defeated America at the ballot box, sources confirmed Wednesday. “After 248 years of tense and often divisive conflict, we can finally say, as of this morning, that the nation turned out at the polls and […]
Man, the Onion is back to being ruthless and I love it. I’m not happy that circumstances give them so much to work with, but boy are they letting the fists fly lately.