These couches are hostile furnishings for the home. Designed with a center console that acts as a physical barrier between you and The Wife™. Complete with cup holders, motorized reclining action, and a storage compartment where you can keep your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition collection.

There is no space on this couch for any form of physical intimacy.

  • Biggay [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    7·
    2 days ago

    This couch was designed by sexless foot ball watches. They were designed for kings of queens. For Raymond who everyone loves. There is no big bang theory in this house. Just desperate house wives living on loves island, an ocean and two cup holders between them and their spouse.

    This is great poetry matt-grillin even works as a site tagline.