Cycling through various psych meds is so unbelievably frustrating.

Rly is, thing that always bothered me was the cycling of withdrawing from something and starting new thing and just trying to get through all the initial side effects that make it even harder to stay living than usual lol. And it’s like… this is destroying my life rn I can’t afford to taper off for 3 months

Turns out my current psych doc is willing to prescribe MAOIs which is great because I’ve always wanted to look into that class. Started with selegiline patch, it actually seemed like it might be helpful, I at least had more energy and motivation, but turns out I’m allergic to the adhesive and I kept reacting to it more and more until it was basically one big hive underneath when I took it off.

Idk where you are ofc but in the Burgerreich and most “western” countries, EXTREMELY RARE type of doctor lol, am glad you found someone like that. (hyperbolic, figurative) Ever single one I have ever met thinks MAOIs just turn you into a time bomb that explodes upon any contact to cheese lmao. Tbh… there was this time a few years ago when I could no longer take the mental strain of interacting with these rly mean doctors who could not consider anything other than SSRIs and depression so I was just self-medicating by trying a couple of different things on my own

WORST experience I ever had with a doctor was trying to see a psychiatrist and see if they would prescribe me an MAOI cuz I was seeing some success with moclobemide (only MAOI besides selegiline you can even get from the online pharmacies cuz the others are so rare). I went into her office and she berated me, made me cry (usually I can hold that til after), started to check my blood pressure while I was crying, found that it was slightly higher than normal and blamed it on moclobemide (wtf, these drugs were the first ANTI-hypertensives, my blood pressure was high cuz of the emotional ordeal), made me sign some release form I didn’t wanna sign, then I dragged myself out of the office and found out that she had called my family members and told them something like I was killing myself so I had to explain all this shit to my dad and ughhhh. Then I felt so bad I cold turkeyed the moclobemide, went into a deep depression for a bit

Doctor is unwilling to prescribe oral or sublingual form, saying there’s not enough evidence for its effectiveness on depression…

Sorry to hear :( If you have one of the very cool doctors (they’re already cool for actually considering MAOIs), maybe they would be receptive to reading some of the studies that show, not directly, that sublingual selegiline has somewhat similar pharmocokinetic profile to the patch version (I think, it’s been years since I read those). Oral selegiline is the easiest to use ofc, but requires much higher doses and the small risk of the tyramine hypertensive situation does go up slightly cuz most of it goes into neutralizing gut MAO-B and MAO-A at such high oral doses (which is why it’s dosed so high relative to sublingual or the patch btw, have to get enough into the brain after first-pass metabolism)

Regardless it must be worth a try, even off-label, after so many years of conventional stuff, right? Selegiline is like the safest irreversible MAOI too

Btw, after none of the depression stuff rly worked for me very well (sertaline is the best I ever tried out of like… a lot of antidepressants, but that’s probably cuz I developed an anxiety disorder later lol), I got an ADHD diagnosis which explains a lot and stimulant meds have been helping me lately. I rly wish all the shitty doctors I saw for depression could have… actually investigated further and helped me realize this sooner cuz it’s really obvious to me now. No wonder most of my friends are have some combo of autism or ADHD lol. People also keep telling me I have autism too, not worth the diagnosis process but probably lol

Now I’m on removedlcypromine (parnate), which is actually what I would have picked for myself to start off with. After 2 months ramping up it couldn’t be more different than the last med, I’m sleepy all the time, 0 motivation. I haven’t gotten a single thing done for like 3 weeks and have called in to work 3 times. I’m not sure whether to try and power through or taper off but either way I’m in for quite a bit more of this since, unlike selegiline, you cannot quit this one cold turkey. Next up would be phenelzine (nardil), which is also very likely to make me sleepy.

Rip, drug name got sremovedhorped lol. Am sorry to hear you’re not seeing any success :( It’s been years since I thought about this stuff but… you might also consider talking about trying isocarboxazid (also I’m inferring you maybe are in the Burgerreich from these drug choices available lol, btw if you don’t already know: “reversible” MAOIs with little-to-no risk of tyramine reaction and which you can go on and off off sooner, exist) with your doctor cuz ofc phenelzine, or its metabolites, is famous for also inhibiting an enzyme which breaks down GABA in the brain, which could make you even sleepier (or paradoxically and despite GABA being like… the main inhibitory neurotransmitter, might make you less sleepy lol, all this shit is so complicated and everyone reacts differently ofc)

Btw, since MAOIs are so misunderstood even by doctors, you might find Dr. Ken Gillman’s website useful: https://www.psychotropical.com/maoi/ He’s a psychiatrist who has been treating people for years with these drugs and advocates for their increased usage especially in cases of treatment-resistant depression, so you may find some of his insight useful. At least I did when I was trying to figure this stuff out for myself years ago, apparently he has since redesigned the website (tbh I much preferred the mid 2000s plain text blog format lol) but all the content still looks to be there. Just best to keep in mind: he is quite biased toward them and it’s best not to take it all immediately at face value ofc. As far as I know he’s very legit, has a bunch of research published, but is rly critical of a lot of psychiatry and it comes across a lot in this informal format which sometimes makes the crank detectors go off lol, at least it did mine rn when I was skimming it again

Solidarity from another fighter in the protracted people’s war on depression, I hope this wasn’t too hard to read lol

Please, stop fighting, Hexbear is a chaos unity site

How can we expect to defeat necro-capitalism and its corpse emperors without all our contradictory aspects?

The Great Game has only precluded this

Do you think dialectical thinking can only be applied to political economy? Genuinely asking cuz as I have learned more and more about it I keep seeing it everywhere lol. It’s also fun seeing western academia reinvent new dialectical forms of thinking over and over in spite of the dominant rabid anti-communism lol

To me, rly, it seems like an unfortunately-often-vague-and-misunderstood philosophical approach toward explaining the behavior and development of complex systems that can’t be described satisfactorily by the opposite approach of metaphysical methods based on external static, strictly categorized and consistent, solely-determining repeating relationships of cause and effect

Ofc Engels thought dialectics was more than just a mode of thought but something like the way reality functioned fundamentally (idk, I should go back and finish reading Anti-Duhring), didn’t he? Idk how you would reconcile this with modern physics butttt…

Have been thinking about a formal system of “”““dialectical””“” logic for a few years on and off, recently actually been reading more about the various paraconsistent formal logical systems created to address the many shortcomings of classical first-order logic (math nerds legit had to reinvent basic concepts of abstract math like a century ago cuz they couldn’t reconcile the fact that naive set theory is inconsistent and therefore proves everything is true according to that logic) since I got some meds for my ADHD that let me focus better lol. USSR actually had a Lysenko-type guy (“Ivan Orlov”, he uhhhh didn’t like Einstein’s theories of relativity among other things apparently, I just found a paper of his on some Russian crank website lol) for logic lol, turns out he was doing stuff with relevance logic before almost anyone else was (that is known). I’m very and I can’t find most of his publications cuz I don’t speak Russian and most of it is rly obscure but modal and relevance logics are pretty cool imo

Point of all of this being I think dialectics has many useful applications, especially to understand complex systems like this site lol

They have ARDS

Unending social murder

How many more will die to keep the blood-treats flowing?

Pls, not again

When challenged none of it is, “ahhhh you dumb tankies fell for my ”

When not challenged all of it is

What part of it actually is? Probably all of it, at least somewhat lol

loves to exist in this space

Strangely,

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

a very familiar space

Same here, ty

Had one of our just-unbanned users drop a rly heartfelt reply about how the site helped her realize she was trans and get through some rly bad times in her life and it upset her a lot to see the behavior of some of the admins

It’s rly silly drama but the site has legit helped people

Okay I gotta log off fr now, am tired and this is starting to loop back around from upsetting to hilarious lol, bad state to be in for sincere talking and I spend enough energy on this

Edit: Post I mentioned is here if you wanna read: https://hexbear.net/comment/5618885

You’re right tbh

It rarely came up and ofc this being Hexbear it’s tangled in like 7 layers of irony and sincerity, but the vibe I always got was that “TC69 thought” was beyond criticism and everyone who did have something to say in response was either in the group of transphobe wreckers who got purged by her (based, good (that they got purged)) and anyone left from that time who still remembered it, besides the “”““legends””“” about her making everyone read based books, had stopped challenging it cuz of the aforementioned dogpiling

Until today, now it seems TC69 has stepped down again, deleted her account, and her partner has been banned and people are talking about it and criticising her in the YET-ANOTHER megathread

Wild day in niche bear-themed web forum history, the TC69 cult of personality has fallen?

I hope all this shit is entertaining to the Lemmygradians at least lmao

I just read it

Based rejecting irony, embracing sincerity

Idk maybe we are silly for liking the website and taking it seriously even if it helps us connect with other people, get through bad times, or realize we’re trans… butttt nahhhh actually lol, this idea that the only REAL, SERIOUS, NON-CRINGE social space is the Central Executive Committee of the Communist Party or something is much sillier

Tbh… you should repost it here under a CW spoiler, it’s seriously very heartfelt, maybe what we need

I feel exactly the same way tbh, I can go to a trillion other sites if I wanna do endless “actually, it’s kinda cringe that you care tbh” bits that also aren’t a bit where “you win” if you can pretend to be the most cool and detached i’m-not-online-i’m-just-here-to-observe-the-onlineness type person (I am also missing the joke here), I like Hexbear cuz of the sincerity

The misgendering ableist wrecker alts were rly exhausting tbh, especially when it seems like it’s someone here doing it who has been banned for the same shit before multiple times but is still allowed to do it (as of now, I’m not in the admin chats so ofc idk for sure)

Idk tbh, regardless I feel like they don’t have to be contradictory

I come to this site for the shitposts and the genuine discussion and political education resources

I should also mention the proposal post later also had statements from mods who said they proposed the idea cuz they thought “dunk” culture has “cishet white vibes”, which… idk, is maybe fair, Hexbear is rly white sometimes and I would hate for people to be put off by that (good reason to be put off ofc). It wasn’t rly elaborated upon though

I feel like this is exactly the irony poisoned toxic attitude that has led to this getting so bad :/

I wasn’t around during the early days, heard lots of good things about TC69, purging transphobe wreckers and making people read is based :3

But is kinda wild and not a good look that she showed up again one day, the biggest struggle sesh I have ever seen kicks off, Carcosa steps down, half-steps back up, then while they’re on break probably cuz of this whole stressful ordeal on this site they steward for us, she becomes head admin(?) again and immediately she and many of the new admins get so deeply involved in an obviously bad-faith way in this struggle sesh to the point of like 20 or 30 people getting bans where even the Lemmygradians are noticing that the site is exploding lol but ohhh this is all a joke ofc :) but it’s also not a joke and this site needs to get serious and we need more mega-purges but also reply here and I’ll use an RNG to decide how long to ban you, and also other random people with the same reason in the modlog

Now idk anymore, maybe this is what TC69-thought is

hehehe

Tbh I just ate some decent food (after not rly eating anything for a few days cuz of external factors™ in my kinda bad life-situation rn), pet a cat, read your reply in the struggle sesh megathread, feeling less bad about the whole thing

Really appreciate you genuinely just clarifying what happened including what the rest of the admin team saw, I feel like most of this is just rly bad communication primarily from admins/mods but also the rest of the users (sucked seeing Carcosa’s decision get completely torn apart so badly that they tried to resign before the userbase rejected that lol, I hope they not too about it especially cuz how much they do for our site regardless of this one thing). It’s still been a total mess but it’s nothing irreconcilable or unfixable

10/10 perfect bad-good-good-bad bit , I hope your recovery from food poisoning is going well

Long live the cabal :3

Yeah we probablydefinitely all need to relax lol, regardless there is def criticism to be made about this whole behind-the-scenes adminning thing that developed after our chaotic first year needing to… idk… have more democracy again? After this whole thing especially

I just saw a bunch of people get unbanned now so idk, hard to keep track of it all

I’m gonna go, like… make a meal and do and think about something other than niche web forum drama now lol

The issue wasn’t the name change, everyone was fine with that and it should be done cuz the term has a racist history

The proposal that started all this was removing “/c/the_dunk_tank” (where you can post bad takes and mock them however you like but they can’t be the bad takes of nobodies, so basically like shit_reactionaries_say) and “/c/the_dredge_tank” (for posting the bad takes of anyone, this was made after people got tired of seeing the lowest effort, repetitive, bad takes from random people so they could block the comm if they want) entirely and replacing them with “/c/counterpropaganda” (for posting instances of any reactionary rhetoric under the conditions that your post also had to include an essay countering the rhetoric) and “/c/gossip” (for posting only public figures’ bad takes, without the essay), the arguments for and against are in the 1200 reply struggle sesh post lol

Sry if you already know all this, I’m not sure how visible this has been to other instances lol

Idk, I get the intention behind it but it became clear this was poorly thought out and was not what most of the userbase (or the most active?) wanted. In the past certain issues like this have been resolved by purges (like our mandatory pronouns and anti-transphobia and anti-misogyny stances) of anyone who disagreed or couldn’t self-crit but this one does seem much more aimless and less concrete to me, to the extent it is even serious, tbh, idk :/

Am glad, would have stuck the whole ?chart=ljsljas;fjsa;lejfalsflkafahduashf URL parameter stuff on the end so the link would preserve settings but I wasn’t sure that wouldn’t dox me somehow cuz its not obvious what that actually is lol

Late-stage irony poisoning

In addition to the first ban wave which was partially a bit or something cuz people requested to be banned so TC69 used a random number generator but also entries in the modlog that have the RNG stuff weren’t people who requested it??, some of our admins are now banning their alts as a bit to start drama, other obvious alts are coming out to call it out and continue more drama, there’s more but… you get the idea :/

Idk, this all started in an attempt to make our site more serious by replacing the_{dunk,dredge}_tank with higher effort alternatives and now that that didn’t go through it’s all a joke now

Honestly I may log off for a while too, is not rly that funny to me :/ People on this site have literally fed me and my friend, kept us out of overdraft status on bank accts, I learned so much from reading stuff here or books I learned about from here, people have been housed cuz of this site, someone nearby legit offered to take care of one of my irl friend’s pets when he was homeless for a bit, I met new friends here that I talk to every day. It’s not a political party but it’s not just a giant shitpost either, so idk where this is going :/

I’m sure this looks even worse from the outside , but it’s okay, site has survived worse

Like FuckyWucky mentioned, there is a lot of talking going on behind the scenes and no one outside rly knows what is going on sooooo… we see what happens I guess

bump

Purple line is H5 and it’s almost alone, holy fuck

Idk maybe it’s spurious somehow, I don’t really know anything about like… epidemic detection through viral nucleic acids in wastewater but since we don’t have a functioning public health system…

View for yourself: https://data.wastewaterscan.org/

Are there any H5 influenza variants that circulate in humans? Ofc can’t know if it is some kind of deadly human-adapted avian flu without more info. Or idk, does any significant amount of agricultural runoff end up in city wastewater?

Idk either tbh, I got moderating on my mind more than usual cuz of current site events™

We moderate hornyposting by vibes alone and it’s always been hard for me to tell where the line is on border-line, bit or not bit?, examples

I guess if it’s not bothering anyone thennnn lol

Actually I guess this is kinda explicit lol