As a kid that used be the question that made me panic. Some teacher or parent would ask “What’s up?” In a casual manner and I would just freeze. To this day I have no idea what the proper response is. I assume it isn’t to start talking about orbits.
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“Not much. You?” If you don’t have much going on.
“Not much, just finishing up this essay before I head to soccer.” If you are doing something that might interest the person asking, or to explain your presence somewhere you aren’t usually.
The person is just checking in with you. It’s basically “hello”
I usually say “not much”
This one is a bit nuanced. “What’s up” can be used both as a greeting and a question depending on where in the conversation it appears. If it’s a greeting a reply is not expected but rather a greeting. Here’s an example.
- A: What’s up?
- B: How’s it going?
- A: All good (note this is void of information, things are not necessarily good.
Another
- A: Hi
- B: Hey
- A: Soooo, what’s up? - Here a proper reply to the question is expected, optional to reply with “Not much, and you?” to skip the question. Normally people that ask in this way want to be asked this question in return.
Annoyingly, it depends on the context which makes it weirdly complex for a simple interaction.
For the second situation, it isnt always that they want to be asked the question. Sometimes they noticed a change in your behavior recently and are checking in on you.
Example, you’re eating lunch and you love chocolate pudding. You usually eat your chocolate pudding every day without fail. Today, you didn’t eat your chocolate putting and just left it sitting there.
A: “Hey” B: “Hey” A: “So… what’s up?”
Regardless, “what’s up” is just a place holder for “how are you”. Sometimes that is just small talk and a way of fulfilling simple social interaction, and sometimes it is a question with genuine interest in knowing what is going on in your life (or asking you first, so they feel comfortable sharing what is going on in their own life).
I always find it easiest to give a simple and short, but honest, response, and elaborate further if they show interest with follow up questions. Of course, giving them information you are comfortable giving that person.
A: “What’s up?” B: “Not much, I’m a little tired today. You?”
or
A: “What’s up?” B: “Kind of sad, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
I look up, then answer the question. Usually by saying, “the ceiling”.
If it’s someone that gets “the ceiling” often, sometimes I’ll switch it up by describing the type of ceiling. Or a light fixture. The sky. Squint and say, “I think it’s a spider.”
When I was little I used to get confused and look up at the ceiling.
Just reply back “hey”. No one is looking for a real reply.
The parent of one of my friends growing up wanted a actual reply. He asked me “What’s up?” every time we met. I would try to answer and he would try to get me to explain what I was up to. He had good intentions but it was a bit traumatic
The normal response is, “Not much”
I’ve had success with asking another leading question. “Have you ever though about [insert special interest]? The other day I started thinking about it and it is kinda cool”
CHICKEN BUTT!!!
^(sorry I had to)^
I usually hit em with the old
WE MEET AGAIN
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It is a prompt meaning “if you have something you want to bring up, or that is important for me to know interacting with you, now is a good time. I have made a space in the conversation for exactly that and I am listening”.
So basically “nothing special” or “not much” is the correct response unless you actually are waiting to bring something up.
Continue with “…and you?” or “how about you?” is polite and invites them to also share anything relevant without worrying about “intruding” on your thoughts.
Caveat: Of course some people will say it as an empty greeting and not listen to a response. They are doing it wrong. If you respond with something and they are confused by that, it’s them being socially inept and not you.
“Livin’ the dream”
“But it’s a nightmare”
“Same old. The horror persists but so do I.”
“Same old, how are you?”
“A vector directly opposing gravity but greater in magnitude,” if you want to passive aggressively tell someone to fuck off.
Or, to quote Dr Manhattan, “Up is a relative concept with no intrinsic value.”
“No, Signal”
That’s pretty good actually. I might use that at a cyber event.
