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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AshamedMention1764 on 2023-07-07 20:00:10+00:00.
I F23 have 4 kids ( F5, F3, F3, and F1) and I’m also expecting my 5th child. So As you can probably tell from the ages, I’m overwhelmed with my kids and extremely exhausted by the end of the day… my husband works long shifts, so I primarily take care of the kids.
My husband ( M27) wants a big family and I honestly don’t think I’m equipped to handle the load of having any more children after this one. So I asked my husband if I could get a nanny to just come twice a week or put the kids in a day camp. He’s against daycare because of the bad reputation it gets and the nanny, he thinks it can get pricey so he suggested that maybe this upcoming school year I homeschool my eldest and have her help me out. But I really don’t agree with that, for starters she’s only 5 and I already feel bad for the little things she does do by keeping her sisters entertained When I’m busy with housework and lastly, I was homeschooled for the majority of my school years and I honestly hated it and wish I went to public school.
My husband now thinks I’m not taking into consideration his parenting choices and that I’m being selfish by not wanting to come to some sort of agreement regarding this… a lot of people in my life would probably agree with him, so I need an unbiased perspective AITA?
NTA - Working parent of two who also happens to be the more kid focused parent when they’re home here but…this is insane to me. A 5-year-old can have some moderated responsibilities but cannot be fully responsible for that many siblings in a meaningful way without a lot of supervision. On top of that they need to be treated as a child, too, they’re not free labor. Beyond those pieces of it… homeschooling isn’t magic. If it’s done well it can work but it is a significant time investment and The suggestion by your husband that you use it as a sort of stop gap to cut down your workload makes it seem like he thinks that no important learning is happening at this stage when that is the exact opposite of true. This plan would basically increase your workload while also potentially holding back your daughter’s intellectual development…
I would strongly suggest advocating against it and for yourself. Even something like a babysitter who comes in the afternoons a few days a week can make a huge difference (from personal experience) and doesn’t necessarily have to break the bank if you plan it carefully. I hope things go smoother for you moving forward!
