I don’t know, but this comment from @[email protected] has given me some stuff to think about.
People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn’t either.
This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn’t get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn’t, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel (“If so many terrible people have sex and you can’t, that must mean you are worse than they are!”).
I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.
Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that’s what I mean please.
I don’t want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.
If incel just means misogynist, why does incel have so much more bite? The connotation of incel is imo three things: misogynist, sexless, and the latter fueling the former.
When one calls Andrew Taste an incel, first and foremost they are declaring him a misogynist. However, it doesn’t stop there, otherwise misogynist would suffice, so at least one of the two other connotations are intended. Making fun of people because they turn lack of sex into misogyny? Sure go off. But I fear a lot of people are implying the other connotation, making fun of people because of their lack of sex. Unfortunately it’s not always trivial to tease the meaning out of every use.
As a virgin, idrc either way. I’ve never been one to care about implied or unintentional indirect digs about sex.
As someone who used to play the ‘women’s’ role in a relationship with a self identified incel, the word incel to me means misogynist in a specific way that manipulates women into dating them. Honestly if the word were to be banned I’d find it a huge shame because every woman should be aware of the term so that they can protect themselves and not take it lightly like I did when they come across someone that self-identifies as one.
I also think doing this is just foolish because by definition men like Andrew Tate are not incels. But I already wrote a whole comment on that.
Honestly most of hexbear is really bad when it comes to incels. They don’t really understand them, and don’t offer anything constructive or anything in the way of praxis in order to tackle the issue. It’s just “be cool man!!!” as if it’s that easy. Sure anyone can be a good person, but that doesn’t necessarily translate into intimacy with the other sex. There’s a reason why the PUA guys get a following: it’s because some of the techniques for self-improvement actually work. And I don’t mean “just be yourself” or “just be confident” because anyone who says that is deeply unserious and honestly needs to learn to view the world outside of their own sphere of conceivability. But I’ve learned that actually having a real discussion about those topics here is a waste of time, and honestly the fash are gonna keep increasing their ranks with the lonely frustrated men. So I guess it’s better to leave or learn some self defense I guess.