I was trying to explain federated websites to a friend and she asked if there is a federated dating app. She recently went through a break up and the apps are dreadful as I’m sure many of you know.
It’d be hard to launch a dating system on the fediverse because it the type of service that relies heavily on network effects. People want to be on the dating app with the most people. However, I think there is an opportunity because the mainstream apps are so notoriously awful, monetized, and enshitified.
It could be a community within an existing network or it could be its own website. I don’t know, I’m just putting the idea out there.
But that’s the thing and of course, it’s all down to personal preference. But if your chemistry and interest can’t survive two weeks, it’s not going to survive two years or two decades. We live in a society where it’s now, now, now and part of our due diligence is patience. Anyone can feign interest over two or three messages, but how desperate are you (not you personally, you get what I mean)? So you take them out, you buy them a few drinks and then what? A couple dinners before you find out they’re not what you thought? The same is achieved with just talking for a couple weeks. But each to their own. If it was one size fits all, the Match Group wouldn’t be able to keep buying apps for millions of pounds. Dating is a means to an end to me, I get that for some it’s a hobby or form of entertainment, but I have better things to do with my time than use it to test if I like someone. I could use that time to spend with someone I’ve already confirmed I like.
I’m a woman who has mostly dated men, and I’m firmly in the “no pen pals” camp. Without body language, tone of voice, etc., there’s a lot of missing information that my brain fills in. I find that the more I text with someone before meeting face to face, the more likely I am to feel disappointed when we finally meet because they don’t live up to the image conjured up in my brain. If we’ve both expressed mutual interest on the app, my preferrence is to go straight to planning a low stakes in person meetup.
I just don’t think spending 2 weeks texting without meeting is going to give useful, accurate, information. The chemistry you’re measuring there isn’t what you’ll have in real life.
Strong disagreement here. The same is not achieved by texting and fundamentally cannot be achieved. There is too much stuff in body language, voice, and such that you’re just not going to reveal over text. Plus other stuff like seeing how they interact with other people. Are they rude to the bartender? Do they road rage? There are whole worlds of information you can’t get without spending time with someone in person.