JUDGE: Would the defense like to present anything in light of this evidence?
TRUMP, UNDER HIS BREATH ANGRILY LOOKING AT HIS LAWYER: Say something!!!
LAWYER: Your Honor, take a look at this…[turns laptop around] - this is Starfield. This is the quality of games being released under President Joe Biden, boring empty RPG. Now take a look at this similar game released under my client’s Presidency - Elden Ring. How did FromSoft do it? Why couldn’t Bethesda with the help they got from Hunter Biden, compete??
Take a look at this receipt I’m holding right now, which was archived on the release day of Elden Ring. Notice the line underneath the copy of the game and a 24-pack of Mountain Dew Baja Blast…the date is February 25th, 2022! Your client was not president at the time! This is an attempt to steal gamer valor!
This is the first time I’m hearing this. When I became President in 2016, Hidetaka Miyazaki called me like “Mister President, FromSoftware is doing very poorly. We fumbled the most recent ‘Dark Souls III’” He said.
Big game this Dark Souls III was supposed to be - and you know what happened? The gamers like my lawyer can tell you. They didn’t like it one bit. FromSoftware was on the verge of bankruptcy!
So I said, "Hideki, Dark Souls III was a failure. It was a total and complete disaster. It’s sad. It’s very sad. " And he was crying over the phone like a baby, but I said to him, “Hideki…Hideki, listen - you know Tenchu? You need to make a game like that - Barron will love it.” Miyazaki was humble. He knew that I was right. And then they made Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice during my Presidency and it saved the company, so really you should be thanking me for Elden Ring.
It’s baffling how shit Starfield was. On a technical level it was fine (I guess) but that couldn’t have made it more boring if they tried. I would say it was scandalously shit considering how hyped it was but it got nowhere near that level of criticism. Maybe they are holding out on mod support.
It was so ass I was unimpressed after getting it for free. The only way I might buy it is if future mods make the space travel actually functional and do something about the dozen load screens to accomplish one task
Yeah I watched a few episodes of a let’s play, it looked very boring, some soup of Bethesda game tropes. The ship stuff was hilariously weak, I wasn’t expecting Elite but come on.
I bet they thought from the very beginning that mod would make the game interesting
Trump going on about the golden toilet in Trump Tower while his lawyer is playing Mario 64 on an emulator going BING BING WAHOO!
JUDGE: Would the defense like to present anything in light of this evidence?
TRUMP, UNDER HIS BREATH ANGRILY LOOKING AT HIS LAWYER: Say something!!!
LAWYER: Your Honor, take a look at this…[turns laptop around] - this is Starfield. This is the quality of games being released under President Joe Biden, boring empty RPG. Now take a look at this similar game released under my client’s Presidency - Elden Ring. How did FromSoft do it? Why couldn’t Bethesda with the help they got from Hunter Biden, compete??
This is the first time I’m hearing this. When I became President in 2016, Hidetaka Miyazaki called me like “Mister President, FromSoftware is doing very poorly. We fumbled the most recent ‘Dark Souls III’” He said.
Big game this Dark Souls III was supposed to be - and you know what happened? The gamers like my lawyer can tell you. They didn’t like it one bit. FromSoftware was on the verge of bankruptcy!
So I said, "Hideki, Dark Souls III was a failure. It was a total and complete disaster. It’s sad. It’s very sad. " And he was crying over the phone like a baby, but I said to him, “Hideki…Hideki, listen - you know Tenchu? You need to make a game like that - Barron will love it.” Miyazaki was humble. He knew that I was right. And then they made Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice during my Presidency and it saved the company, so really you should be thanking me for Elden Ring.
If Sekiro is like Tenchu why don’t I get to murder a CEO in the future?
Sword Saint Isshin would have stayed immortal and have become a future CEO so you did actually
JUDGE: Ok, then how do you explain the even more critically acclaimed Bloodborne coming out at the tail end of the Obama presidency?
All me bby
thanks obama
It’s baffling how shit Starfield was. On a technical level it was fine (I guess) but that couldn’t have made it more boring if they tried. I would say it was scandalously shit considering how hyped it was but it got nowhere near that level of criticism. Maybe they are holding out on mod support.
It was so ass I was unimpressed after getting it for free. The only way I might buy it is if future mods make the space travel actually functional and do something about the dozen load screens to accomplish one task
Yeah I watched a few episodes of a let’s play, it looked very boring, some soup of Bethesda game tropes. The ship stuff was hilariously weak, I wasn’t expecting Elite but come on.
I bet they thought from the very beginning that mod would make the game interesting