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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tough-Sandwich-1774 on 2023-10-07 00:34:31.
I’ve been married to my wife for four years, and we have a two-year-old son together. She was a widow and lost her fiancé in a car accident two years before we met. I’ve always respected her grief and never pressured her to forget him.
However, she still keeps some of his items in our home, like photos, clothes, jewelry, and even the engagement ring he gave her. She says they are important memories and that I shouldn’t be bothered by them. But I am bothered because I feel like she hasn’t completely moved on from him, and I’m just a replacement.
I want her to get rid of these items or at least store them somewhere else, like at her parents’ house or in storage. I think it would be good for both of us as it would help us focus more on our relationship and our child. I don’t want him to grow up seeing these things and thinking I’m not his real father.
She refuses to do this and says I’m being insensitive and selfish. She says I can’t erase her past and that I should accept her as she is. She says she loves me, and that’s what matters.
I don’t know what to do. I love my wife, but I don’t want to live in the shadow of a ghost. AITAH?
Stop seeing the ghost as having a shadow. The existence of the past is not a threat to you.
If you were just a replacement that stuff would be long gone already.
His Clothes seems a bit much rest seems normal to keep of a friend that died. At this point I would be making memories with her so they lose value but I don’t think they will go away. Some people like to keep items.
